A Lost Connection
by southern cross
Summary: Post Series Finale. Kyle is doing everything he can to make the world a better place. Seven years later an early morning call changes everything. Kessi.
1. Chapter 1

OK so Kyle XY has officially taken over as the fandom my muse is obsessing over. I started this right after finishing 'A Leap of Faith' because I read an interview with one of the Kyle XY writers and her thoughts on where the characters would end up. Well her thoughts got me thinking and my muse started cracking her knuckles. What would our favorite characters be like years down the road? Where would they be and who would they have become? It's a great question and here is my humble attempt at answering them. I have a few goals in mind; I want to write a plausible 'M' rated fic, I want to have lots of angst, and I want the characters to stay as true to the ones we knew left behind in S3. Whew. That's a tall order and I hope the people reading this will let me know what are hits and what are misses. I am counting on your thoughts and encouragements to keep my muse happy and hopefully the end product will something you all enjoy and are proud of.

Everything up to and including the Series Finale will be addressed in this fic so if you don't want spoilers than don't go any further. Seven years have passed since the end of S3 and yes there will be Mature related themes in this fic so consider yourself warned. This not going to be some kind of crazy raunchy fic but the gang is older and living in the world and they have grown up and their thoughts and troubles will be that of grown ups.

Most importantly this is a Kessi fic. Again this is for all the Kessi lovers out there. As much as I love Kyle Trager (and that is a whole lot ;) ) Jessi holds a very, very special place in my heart so this is as much for her as much as it is for him. It's funny than that this will be, for now, completely from Kyle's POV. I love writing him I can't help it.

This is also the longest A/N I have ever written but I have a feeling this fic is going to be epic-ish and so deserves a longer A/N. SO please, please, please review!!! I own nothing and mean no harm and as always enjoy....

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**Dresden 1900 PST**

The key fits in the lock, the lock turns, the door opens, and "finally."

Not an exclamation of home, no, this apartment, while his in law and name, had never been home. And yet he was disgustingly grateful for its dark presence. Dropping his luggage right where he stood he threw his keys on the non-descript table by the empty closet and flicked the light switch to on.

His eyes scanned quickly down the hall and into the living room. Everything was as he had left it; the cleaning service Declan had employed had done a nice job. The hardwood floors shined nicely up at him and there was the not unpleasant hint of lemons in the air.

Germany had been his choice, Foss had imparted on Declan that they would need stops, places scattered throughout the globe that would serve as homes or hideouts or hospitals; and one never knew when they would one or more of those services.

On one of his first trips through Europe Germany had been an unexpected surprise, he supposed it was because of the language. Languages were easy for him, he had picked most of the ones he had encountered and many were stored in his head that he had yet to use, but there was a special place in his heart for the guttural tones.

When they had set up stops on all the major continents, he had insisted on Germany, it didn't matter what city or town, Declan had merely blinked at him; unused to any type of preference to any of their situations, but had immediately found this loft and Kyle had been pleased.

Easily pleased, that was him; moving into the living room he shrugged out of his leather jacket, the night air was cooler here than it had been just last night. Last night he had been in another country perhaps on another continent, it was hard to keep it straight anymore.

Sighing he headed into the kitchen there had been a passable meal on the plane, but he wanted something rich and thick and maybe naughty.

Opening the obnoxiously big refrigerator, again Declan saw to his every need and had installed state of the art everything in every location; but then Foss had taught him well. Reaching into the fully stocked appliance he pulled out a beer, very dark and brewed locally, the untouched cheesecake, and jar of hot fudge.

It was nice at times like this to be predictable. He liked sweets, always had, and it was nice to know that every at ungodly hour of the morning he could indulge. Grabbing a spoon, a bag of sun chips and God only knows where those had come from he hopped onto one of the stools tucked under the granite island that had never held a home cooked meal.

Eyes glancing around as he popped the top of his beer with the spoon, he had no idea where the bottle opener might be; he sipped at his beer. It was strange that even at twenty-five he felt nervous about drinking; or swearing or the occasional second glance at a nicely put together woman; it was hard living down expectations that had been instilled when you were sixteen and trying to save the world.

He was still trying to save the world, still trying to live up the expectations that people had of him and those he had for himself.

And usually it was fine, great, and wonderful; except when it wasn't, on nights like tonight, when all he wanted was sweets and alcohol and maybe a familiar face.

'Stop whining,' talking to himself was annoying habit, he talked to himself all the time in his head. Working out problems and the like, but actually speaking out loud to no one but himself was an annoying and growing habit.

'I need,' the spoon froze on its way to his mouth, the bite forgotten. What did he need? What had his impulsive mouth been about to say? He had everything he could want, had a job, a life works that was rewarding and fulfilling. He had a best friend that had trained and studied and become the shadow and scout that he needed to make the world better. His family was safe and prospering back home, so there was nothing more he could want.

Except there was, there was because he was about to say it out loud, and had stopped himself.

'Great now I'm arguing with myself,' finishing his bite, he indulged in a few more, rising for another beer he nibbled on chips while he considered his options.

Declan was working out a few things. People needed help and education and a saving grace everywhere, all the time, so the options were limitless; but it was the practicalities that narrowed the options. Lots of people wanted help in theory but when offered rejected it. Then there were those that simply wanted money, those he left to his accountant; Adam's estate had been vast and while the economy was still recovering from the decadence of the first decade of the second millennium he had made smart investments and had quadrupled the Baylin estate.

Some countries were hard to get into, harder still to work in and a bitch to get out of once in there; those he dreaded, not because of the risks, no those he accepted, but the devastation the people, especially the children, faced was heart breaking.

Those tasks were taken only after careful consideration, Declan knew he would need time to prepare and time to recover from one of those- missions; he hated the term, but Declan's habit had rubbed off on him. Recovery time was why he was here. That was his option, lazy days and long nights, which was what Declan had ordered before heading off to do who knows what where and for whatever reason.

Rest and relaxation was what he needed, yes, he turned and dropped the dirty spoon into the sink and put what was left of the cheesecake back in the fridge. Taking his beer with him he wondered into the living room, there was a nice TV that Josh would have no doubt envied, but he bypassed that for the stereo.

Harsh beats filled the air, it was just what he needed, spinning the dial to mind numbing levels he stepped back and settled onto the overstuffed leather couch, his favorite kind. The cool brown leather was worn and welcoming. Kicking off his sneakers he propped his feet on the coffee table and wiggled his toes.

Being an adult was hard work, but there were moments, like drinking beer with your feet on the furniture that made it worthwhile; not to mention he got a thrill at playing the music so loud.

The Trager household had always been so very quiet. Quiet in the sense that there was rarely music blasting, Nicole had insisted on ear buds, or TV left on, Stephen had wanted the world left outside their doors. And while he liked the atmosphere, there was something soothing about the noise around him; and there was no worry about neighbors, his loft was on the top floor and there were no neighbors on the floor below. Yes, if he could call one place home out of Seattle it would be here.

Before he knew it his eyes were slipping shut, the jetlag catching up to him, and he was out.

**Dresden 0030 PST**

Light was evil, evil and everywhere.

Stumbling off the sofa he made his way to the ceiling high windows and reached blindly for the switch on the wall that would give him blessed darkness.

"Damn," his foot hit something, hard and unmoving, and one eye peeked open enough to find the panel and hit the magic button. Darkness; he wasn't sure if it was curtains or shades or some kind of nano technology and he didn't care because the sunshine was gone.

He had slept hard, unmoving, given the stiffness in his limbs, and dreamlessly. It was exactly what he needed. The music had ended, there was the whir of the machine waiting idly for more commands, but he ignored it; than felt guilty for wasting resources until he remembered the solar panels he had insisted be retrofitted to the roof. Let the sun pay for the electronics since it was the reason he was awake prematurely.

Bathroom was what he needed now, lots and lots of hot water and soap and than the cleanest freshest clothes he could get his hands on. A plan was forming and in his sleep addled state a plan was good. Than he would find coffee, strong and hot and a never ending cup; the café down the street would have that and they would have pastries, sweets, and even though his stomach was heavy with his indulgence last night, he didn't care.

He would do extra sets in the gym later. And there was another bullet point; he would go to the gym today.

Having made it to the bathroom, step one of 'the plan' complete, he turned on nozzles and grabbed towels and sweats while adding more to the plan. R&R was hard for him. He was not one to sit idly by as much as Declan would like him too, but he would find ways to recuperate his way.

Some paper might be nice, clean and bright white, there were images bouncing around in his head that he wanted to share. They were with him forever, he could recall every image in his memory warehouse at any time, but sometimes the images were worth sharing with others, and sometimes he just wanted to do something with his hands.

Cleaner than he had been in weeks, he headed for the bedroom and the closet that he knew would be full. Some were things he had purchased and left, most of the stuff was there by catalogue. His size and color preferences were pretty obvious and he was not a finicky dresser. Although he sometimes wished he had adopted more of the Trager fashion traits. Lori and her daring use of colors, he tended to stick to neutrals and blues, and most especially Josh and his nose for fun and quirky clothes. Andy had been a tremendous help in many of Josh's most successful finds, but than quirky was her thing and she did it well.

'You do find the most random things to think about,' he pulled on dark blue jeans and pulled a gray sweater over his white tee shirt. And this time he was in full agreement with the words spilling out of his mouth.

Before his thoughts to turn towards the last time words had spilled from his mouth he stepped into surprising comfortable black shoes that weren't boots but weren't shoes either and went in search of his phone.

There were no missed calls, a text from Declan letting him know that he was no longer in Germany, but nothing else. Slipping it into his back pocket he slipped his leather coat back on, stepped over his forgotten luggage and went in search of coffee and sweets.

Winter was coming to Dresden, flipping up his collar, his steps moved quicker down the sidewalk, the wind colder as it blew across the Elbe. Winter would be coming to Seattle soon, the rain would be colder and the sun would be shining less and less. The sudden pang of heart ache shook him and his steps faltered.

Thinking about home was not uncommon, of course he reached back into his memories for good times when things were rough; but this was different. His mind had been wandering back home more and more lately and he couldn't put his finger on why. Something was tugging his thoughts in that direction.

He put the introspection on hold as he reached the café and headed inside.

Settled at a table with the largest cup of coffee he could get and several pastries within reach he turned his eyes back onto the river and his thoughts back on.

Intuition, the gut feeling you get when you just know something, Foss had told him once never to ignore his. That his intuition, given his special skills, might be tapping into something more, something they had no real understanding of and he should never ignore it. And when he was a young Kyle he had listened to Foss then and as an older Kyle now, he still listened to his advice.

Something was brewing back home, something that was pulling his thoughts and attentions back there. He didn't know what, the feeling was never specific like that, no, he just knew it was something and it had to do back home.

By the time he had eaten more calories than should be allowed and drunk enough that even he had to use the restroom, because of course his tolerance was higher than everyone else's, almost everyone else's, his fingers were taping against his thigh. Energy was coursing through him, fueled by sugar and caffeine there was also the onslaught of questions and fears and curiosity of what was coming.

He knew he had to be patient, patience was a virtue, and usually he was the calm and level headed one; he had to be. But when it came to the people he loved and cared about all of the carefully constructed safe guards and barriers were stripped away.

After turning eighteen he had begun training in earnest, traveling with Foss and testing the limits of his control and abilities. He had found that the more distance he put between himself and those he loved the easier it became to fulfill his potential. At least that was what Foss had called it.

Foss had been convinced that Kyle was there to serve a purpose and that purpose was to help the world, change the world to be a better place. Lofty ideals, yes, but soon enough he had been helping people, and the impact he made on lives began to have ripple effects.

It was Andy who first noticed; early on a town had been combating devastation when the local crops had begun to wither and die and people's livelihoods had come undone. After Kyle had slipped in, identified the problem, and begun to educate the locals how to fight back he had left and not looked back. It was hard to look back when there were so many more people ahead.

So it was Andy who had checked back in on the town, found that they had been successful, so successful, they had shared their knowledge in the neighboring towns that had fallen on similar hardships and then in turn used the extra revenue from the surplus resources to build better libraries and start much needed after school programs.

Separating had been easier than he had thought it would be, less scary too, and so he had been caught up in the challenging and changing situations and the power came more naturally to him, came stronger and more skilled.

He had begun writing then, journal after journal was kept of every challenge, every random thought or idea; that had again been Foss' idea. There were important things in his head, things that might not be ready for the world yet, were too important to be forgotten. It had been weird at first, taking time every day to write down his activities and random thoughts.

But it had evolved, turned more to notes whipped out on his blackberry and sent to an anonymous email account. Foss, and now Declan, would keep them safe and organized and should they ever need to reference something access something.

And his life had grown and been shaped by his eagerness to help and thirst to uncover what was locked away inside of him, and the miles separtating him from Seattle had made that possible. The thought of there being trouble at home startled him. He had been many things over the years, but startled was not one of them.

Declan had often wondered about that, how he could deal with the danger and horrors of the situations he walked into and not bat an eye.

Fear and uncertainty those were the things he had left behind when he had left Washington. As funny as it sounded living in a war torn country cowering in a cellar full of children while mortars exploded over head was nothing compared to those frantic months when Matacorp and Latnok had encroached on the safety and security of those he loved.

Washing his hands thoroughly in the bathroom he caught a glimpse of his reflection. What had been a shadow of a beard was far more distinctive now, he couldn't remember when he had last shaved, and there was still sleep in his eyes. He looked every bit of his twenty-fives years at the moment. Appraising his profile, right side than left, he noticed lines at the corners of his eyes that had never been there before.

The changes to his face didn't bother him; the changes to his body were usually not that much of an issue either. Vanity was not something he wrestled with. His physique was well maintained he had topped out at around six foot and there were no extra bits of fat anywhere. That had as much to do with his living conditions as his physical conditioning; sometimes a hearty meal was the last thing on anyone's minds.

There were muscles in all the right places, those weren't a concern; the scars were. There wasn't one major body part or limb that didn't bear some permanent mark of the work he had done. For every person that was grateful there was someone who was angry about it.

Violence had become an unfortunate skill he had become expert at. Killing had not been a line he had had to cross, yet, but there had been times; times when he pushed he would have done so. Those times when faced with the choice he had known that had he ended the life of the person in front of him he would have been able to sleep well the next night.

It was a testament to how far he had come from the Kyle who had first stumbled into the Trager household and the reflection before him that could think something like that and mean it and be OK with it.

Those thoughts were hard to write down, hard to admit too, but he had. They were parts of his reality and he had to accept them and those who might read those words would have too to. It was hard to remember that while he was extraordinary to so many people, he was also a man.

'A man,' the last time he had been seen in such a light had been too long ago.

Shaking the excess water from his hand he reached for a paper towel. More sleep would be good, more sleep and a shave. And maybe the thoughts would settle back to the recesses of his mind where they wouldn't cause any more trouble.

Leaving a bigger tip than was necessary he felt for certain that his darkening mood was spilling out over the other customers and any thoughts of going anywhere or doing anything else but going home dissipated.

Outside the wind was even more bitter and he buried his hands into the pockets of his coat walking quickly he retraced his steps.

No sooner had he stepped off the elevator than he felt his pocket begin to vibrate, he dug out his keys and his phone, "Nicole" flashed on the little screen and he missed the keyhole jamming the key into the wood of the door.

He did some quick math it was ten-ish here so in would be after two am in Washington.

"Hello," he couldn't keep the worry out of his voice, wished that the voice on the other end would laugh and apologize for 'drunk dialing' at such an hour. But this was Nicole, not Josh and she wasn't one to drunk dial.

"Kyle, hi," it was a stone sober Nicole and his heart dropped, she was worried; he fit the key into the lock finally and went inside.

"What's wrong," her laugh was short, clipped, and he didn't like it, not one bit. Heading into the bedroom he pulled the leather bag from the bottom of the closet and began throwing in clothes at random. It hardly mattered what she said, he was already preparing the fastest way out of Dresden and back to the States.

"Kyle I-" her words left her and he froze, whatever it was she was having trouble telling him. Nicole always had the words, she always knew what to say and the thought of her not knowing what to say scared him. sinking onto the bed next to his half packed bag he tried to send out his thoughts. He tried to connect to everyone but his fears had taken over, broken his concentration and he reached nothing but a wall.

Cursing under his breath he startled Nicole and instantly apologized.

"No Kyle I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I know I'm calling out of the blue and not making any sense," there was panic now and he needed to take control; take control of himself and the conversation if he wanted to know what was going on before going crazy.

"Nicole calm down," he summoned up all the patience and understanding he could, pouring all of it into his words, "it's OK, whatever it is you can tell me."

He didn't want to know, not really, no one wanted to know what bad news was coming at them, but it didn't matter, his words had done the trick and she was speaking. He heard his name and another apology, he heard the need in her voice, she wanted him there, wanted him to be there, but didn't want to ask; and then she said the words that stilled his breath.

"Kyle its Jessi."


	2. Chapter 2

Wow thank you guys so much for the positive response to the first chapter. I was quite leery about the premise, both the 'M' rating and the flash forward but so far you all seem to like it and it means a lot that you took time to review. So here is the next installment and I hope all your expectations are met. Please review they keep the muse going. I own nothing and mean no harm.

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**Location Unknown 1900 PST**

Airplanes frustrated him.

They were wonderful and accommodating and despite the errant catastrophic failure extremely safe modes of transportation.

And right now he hated the one he was in, hated that it wasn't moving faster. He could make it move faster, in fact he should, his foot was drumming in place his hand tapping on the First Class seat as he began running the calculations needed to amplify the planes speed using existing fuel and weather conditions.

If allowed he cut transit time by twenty five minutes.

He eyed the flight attendants wondering at his odds at convincing them to let him in the cockpit. One had been overly pleasant he thought maybe he might have a shot but the odds were against him, even with his skills and big brain, he was pretty sure he wouldn't get away with it.

And while he might gamble on 'pretty sure' odds any other time there were lots of witnesses and harsh penalties for messing with a plane.

His frustration turned to helplessness.

Helpless was what he had been since the moment he had gotten word from Nicole. Allowing a moment, thirty seconds at the most to absorb what she had told him, which hadn't been much, he had risen from the bed bag in hand and pressed the speed dial number for Declan's phone.

He answered on the first ring having gotten a similar phone call from Stephen he had already implemented one of their many contingency plans. Catch a cab to the nearest International Airport see the customer service desk under the name 'Kyle Trager' he was in Dresden under the name Paul York, made things simpler, but it was Kyle who would retrieve the envelope and phone and follow the instructions inside.

With shaking hands he had ripped open the envelope. Replacing the phone in his pocket with the one inside turned it on and found a message waiting for him; an email detailing flight information. The half hour wait had been frustrating. He had paced and checked his phone, all calls from home would come directly to the phone in his hand; it was registered in his name, held the number that his friends and family called. The forwards to the numerous other phones would be suspended indefinitely.

He had not realized how complicated the entire process was, it had been thrust upon him gradually; but falling back into Kyle Trager had been harder than he would have thought.

Identifications had to be switched, passports swapped, even the luggage tags had to be filled out again. Slipping back into being 'Kyle' would have been easier had his attention not been split; because all his thoughts and concerns were on her.

Jessi; Nicole had called to tell him that Jessi was in trouble. Bad trouble; she was hurt and Nicole thought he should come. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes his head falling back against the seat; he tried again and again to reach out to her.

Still nothing, his right hand curled into a fist and his jaw clenched. Anger, he was angry; angry at her for getting herself caught up in something dangerous, even after she had promised. And angry, disgusted worked too, at him self for not feeling her slip away.

Regardless of where he went, how far or wide away he traveled, there was a thread connecting them. How could he have not seen it begin to fray? Pounding his hand against the arm rest he stood abruptly. This was neither the time nor the place to work it out, the excess energy charged his blood and his feet moved absently towards the restroom. Anywhere else he would be locked away with plenty of outlets to work out his frustration; a punching bag, a swimming pool, something to absorb his boiling thoughts and feelings.

There was a connection between his mental and physical reactions; a connection that was usually controlled. Years ago when he had been experimenting, _with Jessi_, they had merely scratched the surface of what heightened emotions could do to the world around them.

Over the years he had become much more skilled at manipulating and controlling himself and the world around him.

There was nothing controlled about what was running through him now and that was a real threat. One wrong discharge of energy could bring down the whole plane and what help would he be to her then.

Not much more than what he had been up to this point.

Stepping into an unoccupied bathroom he relished the moment of solitude leaning against the sink he rubbed his hands over his face.

Things had never been easy between him and Jessi. From the very beginning there had been challenges. They had seemed to find some common ground but once again life had stepped in to mix up their chances.

After she had lost Sarah and he had found the Kingston's the dynamic of their relationship had changed once again. They had never had a chance to fully explore the growing attraction between them; he had never been forced to choose between her and Amanda.

Life had gotten in the way of romance as it tended to do.

Nate's actions had gotten the attention of Amanda's mother finally and she had put her foot down. To the tune of choices being made and Amanda had shipped off to an early admission to the UDub music program. They still swapped emails. She was living in California now plugging away at her career and she had finally gotten a seat on an orchestra and when he had heard that he had been happy for her; had surprised him self by how little excitement he felt at hearing her flirting voice over the phone and blatant invitation to watch her play and maybe watch something more.

He had not gone to her show; had not been in any kind of situation to go and had he been he more than likely would not have chosen to go. Their time had passed and he had never had the desire to go back to that place. Nothing heart breaking or complicated about the decision. The miles that separated them had in fact severed their connection.

Time had not put that much distance between him and Jessi. After turning eighteen, she had slipped away in the middle of the night; _that night_, and had gone wandering.

He had been livid that next morning, waking up alone and discovering her note. In his anger he had been all to glad not to go looking for as she had requested.

Looking back now from the stall of the bathroom he wondered how smart that had been. Couldn't help but second guess his decision not to chase her down and bring her home, yes home, because the Trager's had been her home as much as it been his there at the end of it all.

But he hadn't, no he had waited a week, wrapping up his life in Seattle before embarking on his own journey. Of course his departure had been celebrated and cried over and recorded and done in the bright light of day. Night and day that was the contrast between him and Jessi.

And now she was in trouble, hurt, and he wasn't there.

Cursing again he turned and slammed both fists down on the metallic surface, letting the anger and energy flow through him. He had no idea what could be wrong or why. He had no idea what she had been up to lately or with whom.

The contact they had was through emails and while they were frequent; they were never anything more personal than helping each other work through a problem as only the other person could.

And that was his fault. Why hadn't he asked more questions? Why had he never asked specifically what she was working on? He knew that she shunned the more interactive roles, like the ones he took on, but did her part in her own way. She solved problems and answered questions in a lab, behind a desk, under a microscope and in front of a computer. That was her way.

As proud of her as he had been he had never asked any questions beyond the science.

'Idiot,' that was putting it mildly. Lingering hurt over actions seven fucking years ago had led him here and he had no one to blame but himself.

Heading back to his seat he motioned for the attendant asking for an orange juice and something with protein; she listed his choices and he chose the steak. He couldn't remember the last time he had eaten and asked for all the sides she could manage on the plate.

It had been on the tip of his tongue to ask for a beer, but he bit it back. He would need all his thoughts in working order when he landed and he didn't want the alcohol muddling up his head.

Picking up his phone, Declan had forwarded all the messages over the past month as requested. There were tons of texts from Josh and Lori, even the occasional one from Andy or Stephen. Not to mention Declan and Foss, but they were different. He was sifting through the texts first and found the handful from Jessi; always with the proper grammar, no abbreviations. There was nothing obvious in them. He had been hoping for a hint, for something to jump out at him that would give him a clue this was coming, but there was nothing.

Technical questions, theories, ideas, but nothing personal; he frowned down at the screen switching over to his emails. It occurred to him that he didn't know where she was living now.

He opened his mouth and closed it drawing in a deep breath. His anger and frustration at himself peaked in that moment. How the hell could he have not known such basic things?

There was not a doubt in his mind that she knew where he was at every moment of every day and had known since the beginning. Because in the beginning it had been her to first reach out to him; it had been her suggestion that he set up the email accounts and to start connecting more electronically.

Jessi had been the one to connect them all and how had he repaid her; by taking her attention for granted and not giving more of it in return.

Food was delivered to him and contrary to most people's opinion of airline food looked delicious; but it might have just been him. He ate because he needed to though, taking little pleasure in the taste of it, focusing on his emails. Nothing of use in those either. Her missives were impersonal and the words practical.

That had been his influence in her life.

Everyone had complained that she spoke before she thought, had little in the way of filters on the tip of her tongue; there had been no one there to tell her what was appropriate or not. So she had listened to his suggestion that she pause before she spoke and he only now realized that that had led to much more silence from her.

Lost in the memory of that first week after 'the talk' he recalled how many times her mouth had opened to speak than closed until it had finally stopped opening at all.

He wondered if she still refrained from speaking, called him self a bastard when he realized he had no idea; that he hadn't spoken to her in person in months.

He hadn't spoken to her face to face in years.

His heart lurched.

Had it really been years; God he didn't even know what she looked like now.

Cringing he squeezed the arm rest again the pain and shame of it all baring down on him. Would she even want him there?

The thought was unpleasant and unwelcomed and didn't matter because he was going; it was where he belonged.

**SeaTac International 0200 PST**

"Son," Stephen reached for him and he met him half way. Their embrace was a warm one; it had been more than six months since he had seen his family and he couldn't help the tears that were forming.

"How was your flight?" they walked side by side, bypassing the baggage claim, no smart or busy traveler checked a bag unless they had too.

"Long, but I got some sleep," he had had to force his body to shut down after he ate but he had known that unless he slept he would be no use to anyone in short order.

"Can you tell me what you know?" Stephen averted his eyes and the food in his stomach rolled over.

"We don't know much," they were heading across the parking lot towards the shiny black Trager SUV. Money was not an issue for his family, not any more; he had made sure of that. Nicole and Stephen worked because they wanted to, mostly pro bono or with charities, but they didn't live extravagantly although they could have.

Seated inside Stephen turned the engine over letting it warm up before speaking again, "She was attacked."

Blood rushed into his ears, his heart beat tripled, "there are no leads as to who or why and as of now she won't speak to anyone about it," the implication that she would talk to him was not lost on him; although he doubted that she would tell him anything she wouldn't tell anyone else.

"How bad is she?" he didn't want to hear it, wasn't actually sure he should hear it given the delicate hold he had over his emotions.

Which he lost the second he met Stephens's eyes; the car rocked beneath them, across the lot alarms began to wail.

"Kyle," the concern in the voice next to him helped, kept him grounded until his temper cooled and the power ebbed.

He nodded once, turned his face away he looked out the window and into the night, his days and nights were all mixed up but he was used to that sort of confusion. Stephen began to drive without another word; concern for him for her radiating off the older man and that was something he was familiar with. Too often he had been the subject of worry and concern for his adoptive family.

It was the unfamiliar pangs in his chest that were giving him pause; guilt and worry and the rage. It was the rage that was building that concerned him, he wanted to make them pay, whoever it was, whomever hurt her would suffer. Thoughts and strategies were forming that were foreign to him; he wanted justice and revenge and everything that went against what he thought he stood for.

As he worked through his thoughts Stephen drove and before he knew it they had arrived, unbelievably at Adam Baylin's residence, former residence. At his stunned look Stephen interjected, "She bought the place a few years ago," he shrugged, "has pretty much become a recluse, despite our best intentions."

The regret in his voice was unmistakable but that was nothing compared to the shock he was experiencing. They had driven straight up to the front doors, unfamiliar cars were parked haphazardly in the circular driveway; all having foregone the garage in their rush to get into the house.

That sent his already teetering control over the edge, he jumped from the still moving car, ignoring Stephen's shout of concern, and he headed for the house. Seeing but not seeing Nicole opening the front door.

All of attention and focus was pouring out and into the house before him, he saw Nicole give a jolt as the wave of energy rolled over her and he felt a pang of regret but he was intent on finding her; on finding Jessi.

There it was, the familiar waves of bright amber, she had always been amber to him. She had told him once, prompting the discussion that she always felt in him shades of blue. Feeling a color had intrigued him and they had spent hours outlying the topic until he had discovered that she was right, that he felt each person in a different shade, something far beyond the typical aura.

Jessi had started in warm browns, than pure gold, and finally settling on the multi-faceted shades of amber; hot and cool; precious yet accessible and so very her.

And she had put up walls big bright amber ones and his steps faltered in the gravel driveway as he pushed against it. She knew he was there and his heart cracked as he recognized that she was keeping him out on purpose; but he would not be deterred, not this time.

He stood stock still, eyes closed; face cast upwards as he channeled all the energy he had in and around him and thrust it towards her barriers. Maybe on another day they would hold, their complexity was mind boggling, but the creator was not up to par and so they crumbled under his onslaught. Everything he had flew out all at once, the pain and worries and fear, it came pouring out in a rush cracking the wall in half.

And there was a moment, a bright and clear moment where it was all gone, every dark and dim feeling swept away and for a second he felt alive and all was right in the worlds.

Reality crashed swiftly and harshly onto him. With the walls down what was left was what they had been protecting; they had been protecting Jessi. With no warning it happened.

There were not adequate words to describe it. The energy he had sent out was still a part of him, and that connection was now threading its way into Jessi. His strength was absorbing into her and her pain was seeping back into him.

And such pain; and fear and anguish. He struggled to stay upright, his jaw clenched painfully against the onslaught. What she had endured- he could not form the thoughts.

Stumbling forward he made his way to the house and into Nicole's arms.

Her words of comfort were lost to him, he was lost to them all, and in his haste to find her he had not prepared well for the situation and was struggling to pull away. Worse still Jessi was drawing on him for strength, something they had done frequently when they had been living under the same roof, had done it before they had known they could do it.

But this was like nothing they had experienced before; then again her pain and his strength were at levels they had not known they could manage.

Such pain; he was choking on it, every breath was a struggle. Beyond the physical, that much he could have handled, would have managed, but it was the pain in her heart and shame in her thoughts that was crippling.

Jessi had as much of a broken heart as she had broken bones and it was that pain that was making each step painful. Who had broken her heart? Thoughts of how he might break in half the faceless person who had done so centered him. Nicole managed then to get him moving and into the house.

He caught a glimpse of Lori, worried and anxiously moving towards them, and Josh descending the stairs with Andy by his side. They were all here, had gathered for her, and that was a good thing; a great thing.

If only it didn't make his shame all that more profound.

"Where is she?" there would be time later for the pleasantries; right now he needed to see her, and they all recognized that.

Nicole nodded to Josh who wrapped an arm around his waist. The pain was still radiating through every limb but he had shut it out, as best he could, it was the ripping and tearing in his heart that he could not defend against.

Strong arms, his little brother had grown into quite the imposing man, helped him up the stairs. Absently he saw that little had been done to the décor since his time in residence. Perhaps it was her way of keeping him close, although indifference fit more with her personality. Jessi was neither conscious nor concerned with her surroundings and the material things in them; she was like him that way.

At least she had been; reminded again that in some aspects they were strangers did nothing to ease his already overwhelmed thoughts.

Half a hall way later and they stood in front of a door. His old room he remembered. He wondered if she had known that, probably, and how she would have found out. Had he put his mind to it, he might have been able to figure it out, but his mind was otherwise occupied.

"Thanks," his voice was a ragged whisper and he saw Josh cringe at it, consideration on his face; he must really look a mess if Josh was afraid to leave him alone. But leave him he did.

One deep breath, than two, he pushed away as much as could, tried to slip in a clear thought or two. Managed enough that he found her heart beat, it was neither as strong nor as rhythmic as he would have liked. Pain and drugs had altered her heart patterns and once again there was the bite of anger.

'Do this' he gripped the door handle, the cool brass grounding him like nothing else had since he had gotten that phone call half a world away.

'Now' he twisted the knob and pushed the door open.

Exactly as he had left it; that was his first impression of the room and before he could wonder at that his eyes flew to the bed and the body curled away from him buried underneath a mountain of blankets.

"Jessi."

Nothing.

Not a word or a hand; nothing.

He knew she was awake, could tell just because he could.

Closing the door quietly behind him he stepped further into the room, "Jessi."

Louder this time, maybe she hadn't heard him, maybe she wasn't ignoring him and it was the medication. He saw the slight burrow under the covers, further under as opposed to out and exposed. The increase in heart beat belied his theory that she was asleep; she knew he was there, but refused to acknowledge it.

Next to the bed he stared down at the lumpy form hidden from view; he wondered if the tub, his tub, was still in the bathroom. His eyes flicked over to the closed door leading to attached bath and imagined that it would still be there.

Adam had indulged his proclivity and had a tub delivered and installed in the bathroom. There had been no actual installation, it had been simply dropped left of the shower and rear to the sink.

He liked to think that it was still there, a mark he had left, much as the tub was still resting in the spare room in the Trager house; unfinished walls and all.

His mind was wandering, it tended to do that when he was nervous, and he was certainly-

-Without warning the covers were thrown off, a shape rose, Jessi, his mouth opened- her face turned towards his, marred in purple and yellow, his stomach knotted.

The connection that had been so vivid, so vibrant as much as it had been painful flared bright, brighter than he thought he could handle and winked out, severed so completely he took a step back having lost all feeling of her even though she was sitting right in front of him.

Her eyes met his and there was ice in them, nothing there that he recognized, she could have been a stranger, "You shouldn't have come here."


	3. Chapter 3

Wow guys really, I am absolutely thrilled and humbled by the response this fic is generating. In all my years writing fic and it's been a long time ;) I have never come across a more thoughtful and considerate group of reviewers. Really give yourselves a pat on the back and my muse thanks you. As a result I bring you the next chapter and am knee deep in rewrites on the next one as well!!! Please know that I do not have a beta so any boo boos are my own and I try to catch as many as I can. So, this chapter will hopefully answer a few of your questions and maybe bring to light a few more ;). So enjoy the continuing trials of two of my favorite characters and let me know how I'm treating them. I own nothing and mean no harm. BTW my growing love for all things Kessi was only heightened by the amazing photos and video diaries over at Tyler Shields . com so go check it out and see why my muse went a little nuts.

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**Baylin Residence 0312 PST**

There were few things he was certain of; he was certain that the sun would rise every day no matter how bad the situation was. He was certain Lori and Declan would eventually find their way back to each other. And he was certain to the point of absolute that he would make the people suffer who hurt her.

"Jessi," as if saying her name might actually associate the person in front of him to the person he remembered.

Her face was a mess; a savage bruise covered most of the left side of her jaw, there was a cut above her right eye that had needed stitches and what looked like impact mark from shattering glass all across her neck and throat.

With her hair pulled haphazardly back into a sloppy bun he could tell it was longer than he remembered and in desperate need of a washing. It was disconcerting to see her so unkempt. Jessi had always been the most composed and put together of them; absolutely meticulous about her physical appearance. There was never a hair out of place or wrinkle in her clothes.

A compulsion he understood but was fortunately not beholden too. His obsessions had rested in far more abstract areas.

His mind was wandering and her face was still blank; having offered no other greeting than one suggesting he get the hell out. While it didn't surprise him, it still irritated him.

"You want me to leave than?" there, a flicker of something, but it was gone as fast as it had come and he frowned.

"I never wanted you here in the first place, so please feel free to go back to where ever it was you were," her voice was scratchy, as scratchy as those first few days after she had moved in and her emotions had been raw. She was pushing him away and he didn't know why, it frustrated him but that information would come later; what he needed to focus on was convincing her that he wasn't going anywhere.

"I'm not going anywhere," he moved closer to the bed to prove the point and she scrambled quickly back. He caught a glimpse of a bandaged wrist and heard her sharp intake of breath when her back bumped the head board.

"What's wrong?"

The question had slipped out automatically, just as her glare had been instantaneous; they were two people who while very different were also predictably the same. He would care and she would evade.

Completely invading her personal space he took a seat on the edge of the bed. Up close the damage to her face was worse, there was swelling and contusions that indicated she should be in a hospital under constant supervision, she more than likely had sustained a concussion and-

"Stop staring," she wasn't looking at him, was in fact staring down picking at the ace bandage wrapped around her left wrist.

He opened his mouth, the denial on the tip of his tongue, but it died just as quickly, she would no doubt not believe that he wasn't staring and so he plowed ahead with the truth.

"I can't help it," she looked up than; surprise made her eyes go wide, disbelief made her roll them.

"Unbelievable," she muttered, he rubbed his hands over his face maybe he needed a filter on his mouth.

"It's just," he didn't know what the fuck he was trying to say and she was staring at him like she knew it, "I was worried," and he closes with a lame exit.

Her mouth opened and closed and he steeled himself, what was coming was not going to be good, not with that look in her eyes.

"Well there is nothing for you to be worried about, I had no idea anyone called you, and would have stopped them had I known," incredulous he sat back on the bed, did she really think that no one would have told him?

"I don't understand," this was so wrong, there was this distance between them, and the walls were back up and the loss he felt at it was startling.

Her laugh was unexpected and unpleasant, "Of course you don't."

"Jessi-"

"No, just no," her hand was up and his mouth snapped shut, his back teeth began to grind.

"Just- I- Kyle," why was this so hard between them, "go back to saving the world," and for the first time he could hear how tired she was, how much pain she was in and his resolve strengthened; the world was just going to have to wait a little while.

He was going about this all wrong, without asking, without warning he stood and turned away from the bed, he heard her intake of breath, could feel her eyes on the back of his head. She was expecting him to listen, to leave, he couldn't help the smirk. Hell she couldn't see it, so he indulged, and if she really thought getting rid of him was going to be that easy than she was in for a shock.

Instead he kicked off his shoes and shrugged out of his jacket, he was going to do what he needed to do and more importantly what he wanted to do; a lesson that had been a hard one to learn over the years. Swallowing back the rush of guilt, she had made it clear she didn't want him here, but there was something going on, some reason why she was pushing him away, and he aimed to find out.

Not tonight though, tonight he needed something else; actually she needed something else.

"What are you doing," the ice was thawing; there was a hint of panic in her voice as he pulled his sweater over his head.

Continuing to ignore her, engaging her was the fastest way to slow things down, he moved around the bed and looked down at her. Bullying her was going to be the only way, he wasn't happy about it, in fact he wished there was any other way to accomplish it but there wasn't.

Accepting that, he ignored her protests and yanked the covers back, she gasped but his eyes moved swiftly over her, there was another wrap around her ankle, the right one, and a clear bunching on her thigh under her pajama bottoms that was indicative of a bandage. She was cut, someone had cut her.

He was having trouble absorbing the thought, conflicting emotions were scattering his control, momentarily deterring him from the plan as a charge ran through his arm and shot into the floor.

As one they looked down at the scorch mark, he would feel bad later, the floor marred and ugly, but right now all he felt was anger. Jessi's eyes flicked between the floor and his face and he tried to read her, tried to make out her thoughts, but he was at a loss.

"I'm sorry," her apology was startling, the jolt he needed. She shouldn't be apologizing for his lack of control; she shouldn't be anything other than relaxed and comfortable.

So he would just ignore her words, ignore for now how wrong it was for her to be saying sorry, he would address that later; instead he simply sat back down next to her this time.

"Kyle what?" before she could slip away he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, tucking her tightly, but gently into against his side, he pulled the covers back with his left hand.

"Kyle," clearly he had her at a loss, she couldn't struggle, not without doing herself more harm, and he knew he would use that, it might make him a bastard but since she wasn't going to ask or accept his help he would just have to deposit it in her lap.

With a flick of his wrist the lights went out.

In the dark she was suddenly much closer to him, much warmer, and very much a female. Her arms were bare, the thin tank top did little to absorb her heat and she was hot patch against his side. The dark and the heat relaxed them both.

He felt her tension ease, her guard hadn't dropped, no, her mind was not about to budge. But her body was accepting his support and that was a start.

Before she could protest or complain he began channeling his energy; transferring it into health and healing. Normally he would ease it in, a slow trickle, but he knew that she would most likely protest against any help from him so a rush of power was the answer; and biting back the question 'why' was getting harder.

Later there would be questions and answers, but for now silence would be the most productive.

At the first wave of energy she jolted upright, but he held her close; she moaned, falling back onto the mattress and he followed. Cupping her cheek his vision adjusting to the darkness her eyes had closed; a line of tension forming between them that he smoothed away with the pad of his thumb.

Wave after wave of healing energy was doing its work. As her pain eased so did the iron grip she had on her defenses allowing him a clearer image of what was hurting. Several cracked ribs, a confirmation on the concussion, bruised kidneys, and a deep laceration to her thigh, and a sprained wrist and ankle.

Each item was absorbed and categorized and would be dealt back ten fold.

Over and over his fingers moved across her skin, he longed to erase the jarring marks on her face, but he knew that the cosmetic damage had to stay that any questions as to the attack and their outcome might arouse even more questions should there be no signs of abuse.

And there was abuse.

He could feel where the fists and boots had landed; could feel them as if they had landed on his own body.

Jessi was falling deeper and deeper under the affects of the healing; her heart beats had slowed, but they had become steadier and he knew she was falling asleep. Sleep was good, her body would store the energy and use it over the hours she slept and continue the healing.

His own body was beginning to protest.

Ignoring the discomfort he pushed ahead, he knew his limits, and he had yet to reach them. Despite the rough travel over the past seventy-two hours, the lack of food, or sleep, he had been through worse.

Still when the first pulls of sleep came he didn't fight them, he was too warm, too wrapped up in heart beats and steady breathing to want to fight it. Pushing once, twice, than a third and final fourth, and only when he was confident she would heal uninterrupted through the night, did he finally give in and sleep.

**Baylin Residence 1344 PST**

"How is she?"

Nicole had stepped up next to him, handing him a steaming cup of Seattle's Best and he took the mug with a smile of thanks.

"Still asleep," at least she had been when he had slipped from the room a half hour ago. Tuning in he felt her heart beat in that strong and steady rhythm and confirmed the statement with a nod.

"How are you?" and that was a hell of a question. Waking up had been tricky, there had been the moment of panic, laced with rapid fire questions and answers as his mind raced to catch his thoughts up to the moment; the phone, the flight, Jessi, it had all come rushing back that he had pushed it all away and simply breathed.

Of course the breathing had led to her scent.

Sometime during the night they had gone from side by side to completely entangled and every breath he had taken had drawn him closer to her. As quickly and as quietly as he could he had extricated himself from her limbs. His gut had told him to avoid the awkward waking 'hellos' and he had taken the advice without question.

"I'm OK," it was perhaps sixty percent of the truth but it was enough for Nicole to nod and turn her eyes back to the stunning view. The balcony afforded a beautiful view of the wooded acreage beyond the main house. He had come here often, to think and read and remember; there were chairs, a chair actually, perched right where he had kept one, and it looked well worn in.

Did Jessi come out here and curl up with a book? He thought so, liked to think that someone else would find refuge in this little spot of beauty.

Over coffee he explained as best he could what had happened last night. Explaining that they had talked little and he had done what he could to heal her. Leaving out the animosity Jessi had displayed towards him was a deliberate omission. He sensed that Nicole knew there was more to the story, but she didn't press and he didn't offer any more explanation.

What good would it do to air it, to give it credence; he had every intention of fixing whatever was broken between him and Jessi. And he was very good at fixing things.

"Come on I'll make you some breakfast."

It was too late for a real breakfast, but it had always been his favorite meal in the Trager house and Nicole knew that and he loved her all the more for it. Taking one last look over the trees, he followed her back inside.

"My man, it's good to see you up and about," Josh was walking towards him, and the in daylight it was clearer to him just how much his little brother had grown up.

"Josh," they embraced tightly, Nicole's footsteps faltered and he glanced over at her, saw the emotion on her face and swore not to stay away so long next time.

"How's Jessi?" they separated.

"She's sleeping," heading into the kitchen they took seats at the island and he thought it strange to see Nicole as comfortable in the room while she cooked. It was quite possible she spent a lot of time here, if, as he guessed, coming to Jessi was easier than getting her to come to them.

The conversation flowed easily, none of them addressing the pressing issue of why they had all gathered here, but it was comforting none the less.

"Hey you," turning in his seat towards the voice he put his fork down and rose to meet Andy half way. Her smile was infectious and her hug sincere.

"Hey yourself," he dropped a kiss to the top of her head before releasing her into Josh's waiting arms. At the ease with which they shared food and a seat he found him self smiling, wondering what it would be like to have such a comfort level with another person.

Relationships for him over the past seven years had been non existent. It was hard to look for someone when you were constantly on the move, constantly putting yourself in danger. It was not something he had ever considered dragging anyone else into.

The rush of loneliness caught him off guard and he turned his eyes back to his plate. The rich pancakes no longer held their initial appeal, but he ate them anyway knowing that Nicole would be insisting he kept his strength up and he knew she would be right.

"Where did Stephen and Lori get off too?" he asked around a bit of flour and strawberries.

"Lori had a meeting she couldn't postpone and Stephen had to head back into town," he had not missed the looks the three had exchanged around him, but before he could question them about it there was a commotion from within the house.

"Jessi's awake," he stood, having been distracted, he was simply not used to so many familiar heartbeats and hadn't noticed hers change.

"We've got this," before he could respond Andy and Nicole were gone, he took a step forward, intent on joining them; but Josh laid a hand on his arm.

"Let them go," he looked down, Josh was serious, and probably right, "Jessi can be weird-"

The explanation ended abruptly. He frowned and sat back down.

"What is it? What is Jessi weird about?"

Josh clearly didn't want to be having this conversation and truthfully he didn't either, but something was going on, something else specifically was going on and he was tired of being out of the damn loop.

"I just want to know what's going on," meeting Josh's eyes he tried to stay calm, but he was frustrated, "I just want to help."

"I know buddy, I do," Josh stood and gathered up the forgotten plates.

"You know Andy has managed, I think out of all of us to get the closest to Jessi and even she doesn't have it all figured out," plates were dropped into the dishwasher and the island was wiped down, with nothing left to do with his hands Josh turned and leaned against the sink, arms crossed. If postures could speak, and to some they did, his would be speaking volumes.

"I think maybe it's because out of all us she was the one least connected."

There was something that Josh was trying to make him see, and it was there, taking shape at the edge of his vision and he was blinking, straining, trying to see what it was he was being told. Josh had been waiting too, and having been disappointed, sighed.

"It's you Andy was least connected to and you Jessi is very, very weird about."

Him, Jessi was weird about him, "How-Why? I don't understand."

Understatement; there had been a distance between them, yes, but they were growing up, had been drifting apart as people tended to do, but there was no reason for weirdness.

"Kyle, man, I really don't know," before there was another chance to ask he heard Lori shouting out for him to 'get his ass out here' and give her a hug.

He was fairly certain he had never seen Josh so happy to have Lori interrupt him.

Adding several more questions to his growing list he moved out of the kitchen and met Lori by the stairs. Obliging her with the king of hugs he lifted her off her feet and dramatically swung her around.

"You beast," she smacked his shoulder after he set her down but laughed loudly. Lori had always had an infectious laugh, maybe it was because she rarely laughed so genuinely, but he found himself smiling along with her.

"I've missed you," Josh was standing across from them and he sent him a smile, "I've missed you both."

Josh took a deep breath his eyes darting down to his feet, "yeah, well."

"Come on come on enough with this mushy stuff," her words were light but there was a clear streak of emotion voice and Lori squeezed him tight once more.

"There is definitely little time for mushy stuff," a tired reprimand, it lacked any real fire and he turned towards the owner of the voice.

"Declan," Lori didn't hide her surprise, it read clearly on her face and in her voice; unconsciously she took a step towards him before remembering herself and taking a bigger step back.

"Good to see you to Trager," the move had not gone unnoticed by Declan nor had he restrained the bitterness in his tone.

Lori gasped and turned around heading back into the kitchen, Josh looked over at him, eyes wide, and what could he do but shrug. Lori and Declan had a relationship only the two of them understood, but it was clear to both him and Josh that Declan cared, his eyes having followed her as she moved from the room.

The tension was fierce, "I'm glad you could make it," whatever it was that needed to be sorted out could be done later and Declan nodded in agreement.

Reaching into the pocket of his well worn coat, there were more pockets and compartments in it than should be allowed in one piece of material, he pulled out a black slim case that could only hold a DVD.

"Yeah, well, you might not be after you watch this," Declan was frowning and avoiding his eyes, neither of which was a goof sign.

"What is that?" Josh asked the obvious question.

Declan flicked his wrist sending the case whirling at him, he caught it with ease, "that is what the police recovered from the warehouse."

"Is it like surveillance?" Josh was shocked and awed and horrified and Kyle could relate he wanted to drop it, smash it, and destroy it.

Looking up he met Declan's eyes, they had been through a lot, seen a lot together and what he saw in them made his jaw clench. Feeling the need to explain, to just put the words out there so they couldn't be ignored or denied, the case hung between two fingers absently, he looked over at Josh and took a deep breath.

"It's the footage of what happened that night; it's footage of what happened to Jessi."

**Baylin Residence Twenty-Five Minutes Later**

The shockwave shook the house down to its foundations. There were screams throughout the house and the crashes of furniture and shattering of dishes.

He breathed, he tried and tried and tried to rein it in, but it was too much the anger and pain it had drawn on the energy of the world around him and transformed into a vicious shock of power.

"Kyle!"

Declan, he could hear him, could feel his hands on his arms shaking and pleading and demanding that he stop it, that he pull it together; and he was trying, he was trying to stop it, was trying to tell him that he was trying but nothing came out.

Not a sound slipped from his lips.

"Kyle."

There was another voice calling him, "Kyle," not as insistent or worried, but calm and soothing, and he knew that voice.

'Jessi' he called out to her knowing that she was reaching out to him, their connection flared up bright and strong and he clung to it.

'Kyle' it was her, she was managing to do what years of practice and discipline had not been able to overcome.

Jessi was pulling him back from the edge.

There had been a few times, most notably when he and Declan had first started their travels, when some travesty or other would trigger a switch in him. It was as though all the pent up anger and revulsion and despair that he had bottled up inside was suddenly and fiercely ripped from him.

In those cases Declan had usually had to knock him out, at times with his fists, at others with chemicals. Either way it had been a necessary evil, because his powers, out of control, were a scary thing and the single greatest source of shame in his regimented and measured practices over his abilities.

To have your body, your mind turn against you in such a savage way was disconcerting and while Declan tried to convince him that it was understandable and even a little relieving that he wasn't entirely perfect, he still found it be unacceptable that he had no control when those moments hit.

And yet simply hearing her voice, Jessi's voice, had done something to him. Of course she was doing more than whispering to him, which was helping on its own, she was funneling the energy he was dispersing into herself, changing it into healing strength and saving the house from possible collapse.

They worked together, separated by floors and the years, seamlessly and effectively. The moment was not lost on him. He worked well with people, he was the epitome of a team player, which frustrated so many people on his various teams; but this was different.

Twisting in out of the light and dark of his energy and knowing Jessi was keeping right up with him, well that was something else entirely. He wasn't working on a team, one part of the whole; he was working with a partner; an equal who could take what he dished and throws it right back at him tenfold.

Despite the horror of what he had just seen, and the questions still burning and unresolved, he felt happy; well and truly happy for the first time in a long time.

Jessi was pulling away, her light was fading but he wasn't ready to let her go just yet. The danger had passed, with her help he was fully in control of his abilities, and Declan sensed the change in him and while he might not have understood it, he pulled Josh from the room leaving him alone with his thoughts and most importantly with her.

'Jessi' he called to her, tugged at her presence when he felt her fade. Flexing his muscles he yanked a little harder and the gold light flared up right quick. Jessi did not like her strings to be pulled.

He tossed out a line, testing the waters, he flexed thoughts he hadn't drummed up in years tossing them her way, waiting to see if she would respond, if despite everything they could still share a moment.

The challenge was there, a bright blue ball of complex thoughts and possibilities. They had done this before, once upon a time, rolled together a ball of thought and questions and scientific inquiries hidden under layers of mathematical algorithms; a puzzle ball only they could unravel.

Funny, he hadn't made one in years, hadn't even remembered he could make them until he had first heard her voice calling out to him.

But made one he had and for being so rusty he was quite impressed with what he had done.

There was a moment where she considered, he could feel her wavering, it was a shimmer in his mind before she decided against and began rapidly pulling away.

He laughed, out loud, in his head, wherever it needed to be heard in order to make his point, 'scared'?

If an amber light in his head could gasp than hers had, a heart beat passed, maybe half of another, and he felt the burn of her full attention turn his way. The ball he had haphazardly constructed disappeared as she wrapped her attention around it, studying and surveying it from every angle and in that meticulous attention to detail he knew Jessi had not changed very much.

Oh but in so many ways she had, he felt her shrug, mentally, 'is that all you've got? I thought you were going to bring it.'

His laughter was loud and long and he brought it hard.


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry for the gap in updates. Ran into a slight block and got caught up in some reading, but I'm back, hope you guys are still with me. Please let me know what you think.

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**Baylin Residence 1913 PST**

"So are you going to tell me what the hell that was all about?"

The conversation had arrived, dragging the towel through his wet hair; he soaked up as much of the water as he was able before tossing the blue towel into the hamper.

"And don't try that silent shit on me tonight, I am so not in the mood," Declan was leaning against the door frame his back to the bedroom that had been designated as his for his stay, and though his friend appeared casual, he knew better. The set of his shoulders, the lock of his jaw, Declan was not happy.

There were words he supposed, he had gone on the brutalizing run to try and piece them together, to try and make sense of what he had gotten caught up in.

"I don't know what happened," sitting against the edge of the sink he pulled the t-shirt over his head, "One second I was slipping away, you know," Declan nodded, had not been able to ignore any of the signs that a catastrophe was brewing, "and then she was there."

"Jessi," Declan corrected automatically. It was habit he had, came from years of working in hell holes he supposed, he impersonalized the people around him. Him, her, they, them, never it, but used alternatives close enough he might as well have said it. A defense mechanism, he had Googled it, one he had had to form when so many of the people whose names he had learned had died.

But this wasn't there and she was Jessi and he had to know that, own it, and "Yes, Jessi." It felt good, saying it, he had always liked saying her name; it rolled well of his tongue.

But his mind was wandering and he knew it and so did Declan who was still standing there patiently waiting for him to work it out in his head; he didn't know it was nice or pathetic to be so predictable and understood. And he always didn't know where the bitterness was coming from.

"Dude, shut it off," Declan snapped, he jerked in response. His brain did have a way of running off.

"Thanks," they shared a smiled.

"It was strange," the words were easier now, "Jessi just sort of buffered it, calmed me down, and absorbed the energy."

"I figured as much, the house was rocking man," Declan was making light of it but it was obvious how bad it could have been.

"I know and I'm sorry," he was always sorry.

"But she turned that shit right off in you," Declans words have grown contemplative, "interesting."

Interesting, yes, it was interesting that a flash of her voice in his head could turn it off, that she had the strength and control to counteract what he was dishing out.

"She was pretty amazing," and to hear that coming from Declan was quite interesting.

"Kyle I don't think you quite get it."

Frowning he opened his mouth to argue and then snapped it shut because maybe he wasn't getting something; it happened.

"Jessi stopped a major meltdown with like two seconds interference and that my friend is huge and worth looking into once everything is settled."

Well when it was put that way it was a big deal. The times he slipped ranged from devastating to momentous and every adjective in between and anything that could be done to prevent them or rein them in slightly would be huge.

"But that we can go into later," and he knew that Declan would bring it up; he never forgot a detail when it came to the important stuff.

"What I want to know is what happened after."

After; there had been challenges and laughter and ten minutes of pure unadulterated fun. He had connected to Jessi, his Jessi for the time since before that night and it had felt fucking amazing.

"After, God Declan, there was energy and calm and just for a second it was like it was before," and he hadn't known how much he had missed that until that moment and the feelings and regrets resulting from it had pushed him out of the house and away from the inevitable confrontation between the two of them.

Even now he could feel her down the hall, pacing, eager, frustrated probably that he was still here, which he still needed explained, and more than that angry at herself for allowing the moment to happen between them at all.

Because as soon as the moment had peaked, she had snapped away from him without warning, leaving behind a trail of shock and disappointment. The first he could relate too the second had just made him mad.

"We shared this thing we used to do, it's like a puzzle box, but more intricate, God we used to practice them late at night, she would dump one in my dream and it would take 'til morning to unravel, and-"the memory had surprised them both, he shrugged, "it was just a thing we did."

Declan wouldn't judge him, he knew it, but the wall had come up and he hated that he felt seventeen again and unsure. Over the years explaining had gotten easier; with Foss and Declan dodging his every move he had been forced to become well spoken in what went on in his head, but this was different. This was something they had done and the feeling of betraying her confidence in some way was disconcerting.

"Anyway, we shared and I thought just for a second that it was going to be OK and then she was gone," 'poof' he flicked his fingers in the air and Declan chuckled at the theatrics.

"You work it out?" the run had been his attempt and Declan knew that, he shook his head.

"I wish I could."

"You need to talk to her. About that and about the attack because something is up and it's big," sitting up his focus zeroed in on man across the room.

"What did you hear?"

"It's what I didn't hear. The cops should be all over this, a white girl, rich, beat all to hell in that neighborhood, this should be on CNN."

"But there's nothing."

"Nothing."

And that meant that it was big, bigger than either of them had thought.

"You need to make preparations," his family might want to be here to support Jessi and he wanted that too, as long as it didn't them in danger or put Jessi at further risk. There were very real advantages to living and surviving alone.

"Already on it, not that it's going to go over well," and that could only mean Lori. No doubt the wall of tension between his friend and sister was growing by the silent second.

"You talk to _her_ yet?" the smirk couldn't be helped.

"Funny man, fucking hilarious, you just concern yourself with the conversation you've been avoiding and leave me to mine," so he still hadn't made amends for being an ass earlier; interesting.

They left the bathroom together, Declan headed for the door and waved over his shoulder assuring him that all the 'arrangements' would be done by sunrise. He nodded and put the thought from his mind, in safety and security he trusted in Declan without question. There were things he needed to do, to get done, and those things rose to the forefront of his mind.

Stepping into the first pair of shoes he dug out of his carry on he sat down on the hope chest at the foot of the bed and considered just how epic the conversation he was getting ready to have was going to be.

A part of him was eager to be out the door and standing before hers. He was not one to like unanswered questions. Puzzles left unsolved bothered him and he accepted that and so accepted his impatience with regards to knowing what had happened to Jessi.

Another part of him was keeping his ass firmly on the wooded chest. That part knew that the answers were not going to be ones he liked. And no matter how hard he tried he simply could not understood how pushing someone away could ever be good. And he knew that she had done so had probably been doing so for a while.

The last time few times he had been home for visits he had not seen her; had not thought it odd that last minute research trips had interfered with a face to face visit.

Whatever she had been doing or was still doing was not new and that was a reality that fueled his anger and shame.

But there was no hiding from it now. Not for either of them.

So without warning or thought his feet began carrying him down the hall and to her door. His hand rose of its own free will and he knocked.

When her door swung open less than a heartbeat after he was surprised; once again he could not read her. Could feel very little of what was going on in her head or heart other than the slight rise in her blood pressure.

"Hi," he gave her a smile, one she didn't return, but he took it as a good sign that she hadn't slammed the door back in his face.

The startling shades of her bruised face did not shock him as badly as it had the night before but he felt his heart harden a little as the raw spot where her teeth had bitten into her lip, no doubt in an effort not to scream out in pain.

He hadn't caught that detail last night, but he looked closely now, scrutinizing every inch of skin not covered in jeans and t-shirt.

They might have stood there all night had she not broken the silence and invited him in.

"Thanks," he moved past her and into his old room.

"I guess you're here to 'talk'," the air quotes accentuated her sarcasm and he fought back the bile at the amount of bitterness in her tone.

Cooler heads needed to prevail right now, "Yes, I want to ask you what happened."

There he could be calm and logical.

"I was in the wrong place at the wrong time," she looked him dead in the eye, "nothing else to talk about," and lied right to his face.

"Jessi," the exasperation was in his voice and he was sorry for it. Her eyes darkened and she took a step back.

"Kyle," she snapped right back, her eyebrow rose at him and his teeth clicked shut, so much for cooler heads.

"Fine," his voice harder than it had been, "I'll talk you can listen," this wasn't how he wanted it to be between them, but all his training and discipline went right out the window at the sight of that growing smirk; she knew she was getting to him and had always loved rubbing that in his face.

"You see I know you weren't in the wrong place at the wrong time, you were exactly in the right place at the right time to meet someone," her smirk faded and he plowed ahead, "a short man, thick around the middle, I didn't get a good look at him."

Her mouth opened to ask how, but she caught herself and shut her mouth.

"A real winner your contact, the good sort of person to leave a colleague behind when confronted by a group of thugs," six men had entered the warehouse after her contact had arrived. They had talked for only a minute, two at the most, before the interruption. The man had scurried from the warehouse at the first hint of trouble.

Unfortunately the surveillance had not offered sound only video and he had guessed at what they asked, "They thought they were interrupting a cash transaction?"

He was fishing, he knew it, she knew it, but she conceded the point and didn't call him on it so he plowed on, "drug deal maybe, some rich housewife looking for blow."

Made sense, "But that's not why you were there?"

He deliberately posed it as a question, knowing she would take the bait, "no I was not there to buy cocaine," and he grinned, getting under her skin had worked; turnabout was fair play.

"But you were there to buy something."

He moved closer to her and she stepped back, he frowned; they had never been the most affectionate pair but never to this extent. Even after things had gotten better between them they had never quite mastered the art of physical contact. Maybe it was because he knew she wanted more and he hadn't known what the hell he wanted but she had never avoided him as she did now.

"Jessi, what-"

"I was there to buy information," she knew he had been ready to jump topics, and neatly sidestepped, "the man, Ceeley, he's my go to guy when certain issues need more delicate answers."

He wanted to press it, he really did, but one hard look at her face, her eyes had lost their sharp edge. She had chosen between the lesser of two evils, knowing that if she didn't talk about the attack she would have to talk about them and he wasn't sure how he felt about her choice; which was a lie he knew exactly how it felt and it felt like shit.

"I really was in the wrong place at the wrong time," her eyes were open and honest and he knew she was telling the truth, "Ceeley ran because he's a rat; it's no surprise."

He believed her, and that was a good step forward, but there was one more thing he needed to know, that he had to hear from her before he could fully understand it, "so why did you just them hurt you. Why didn't you fight back?"

And this time when he stepped towards, he didn't let her step back; instead he cupped her elbows, ignoring the tightening of her arms around her waist. If she had wanted to break free of his hold she could have. He wanted to comfort her not restrain her and he hoped she could tell the difference.

"I couldn't, there were the cameras and witnesses on the other end, that warehouse has a live feed, offsite; it's why Ceeley picks it. He knows there's something not quite right about me," she laughed and there was no humor in it.

"So you took their punches," she looked up at him and nodded.

"So I took their punches."

Knowing didn't make it any better. Feeling worse perhaps and more angry and even more frustrated because she was right. Doing something would have been far worse than not doing anything at all; at least there had been an anonymous 911 call about a robbery in progress at her location. Ceeley might have been an ass but at least he had a conscience.

"But it could have been so much worse Jessi," Nicole had promised him that she had in no way been sexually assaulted; she had been lucky, very lucky that the police had arrived when they had.

"I'm fine Kyle," her attention was on him one hundred percent; her breathing had slowed as he realized her fists had curled against his chest. They were close now, closer than they had been since that night.

At once memories rushed back, the softness of her skin, the warm thickness of her voice, and just how beautiful she could be with sleep in her eyes.

"Jessi," without warning, without hesitation she stepped back, the connection was lost, the moment passed.

"Like I said before I'm fine. You didn't need to come and I'm sorry you worried," the view he had of her back only sped up the distance she was putting back between them.

The knock on the door surprised them both, and as one they turned towards the head that had poked in.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but Declan said there's something down here you both need to see," Stephen pushed the door open clearly expecting them to follow without complaint.

The house was calm, the voices below calm, whatever Declan needed to reveal he wasn't projecting any worries; but Declan knew a few tricks of his own, had learned quickly how to keep his own secrets.

Looking to Jessi he motioned for her to follow Stephen who had already disappeared, "after you."

Whatever it was that was coming she was going to have to face it with him and he realized just how right that felt.

The entire Trager clan gathered in what had been Adam's study, now Jessi's by the look of it. There were flowers everywhere, an unexpected touch, and new art on the walls; abstract pieces that were far brighter than he would have expected.

Declan stood in front of the TV, remote in hand, in full command of the room; he got like that when he was laying out the ground work for a new job. Lori was in the furthest corner of the room, he found it surprising that Jessi gravitated towards her and watched as they joined hands and shared a smile. Lots had changed since he had been gone, but their relationship, and seeing how it had grown, was a pleasant one.

Andy and Josh were perched on the couch closest and Nicole and Stephen huddled near the desk, their concern clear as they kept sharing glances at Jessi and quite a few his way. Shutting the door behind him he leaned back against it, arms crossed.

"As all of you now know, I procured a certain set of footage from the Seattle P.D. this morning; as far as they know just a copy."

"Are you saying it was more than a copy?" Josh was more excited than he probably should be at the proceedings and everyone in the room looked his way.

Declan smirked, "I'm saying it was the original. What was left in their file is hours of static and noise that will lead them nowhere," Declan caught his eye and he nodded in appreciation. Anything left in the hands of the authorities could lead to trouble for them all.

"I thought it was odd that there wasn't more of an active interest in the case," Declan wasn't pulling any punches, everyone cringed and more than one set of eyes slid towards Jessi, his included. Her attention was focused intently on her feet and so missed the smirk he sent to the top of her head.

"So, I made a few calls, found out that there was a not so subtle push of the case into the white."

"The white," Nicole asked.

"Cop talk, it's where cases go when people want them to die," appropriately everyone took a solemn second for the words to sink in.

"And then I get this," the TV flicked to life; on the screen is the six way flicker of a security screen. Intrigued he stood up and moved closer. The interior was that of a police station. Screens one and two were of the hallways, people moving back and forth with regularity. The third and fourth were of doors; shut and marked 'exit' and the fifth and sixth were of empty corridors; doors shut and lining both sides.

"What-"

"Just watch," Declan interrupted Josh and pointed to the screen.

Abruptly the door in the third window opened, four men dressed in all black; military gear, high end by the look of it, strode into the building. They were each carrying weapons, automatic rifles, a G360, he knew them well. The men disappeared from view only to reappear inside the fifth box; three took position as look outs as the fourth went door to door.

Just as the man infiltrated the door he was seeking an officer walked into view. There was no audio in this footage either, but there was obvious shouting and guns being fired. The men were professionals keeping their cool and laying down cover fire as their guy entered the room.

More officers arrived, more shots fired, the whole exchange lasted less than sixty seconds. The man reappeared, the group retreated and shot out the door in the fourth window and were gone.

"Wow."

No one else spoke; Andy had been as eloquent as any of them could manage.

"Seattle's finest are scrambling, no one was hurt, but they are scratching their heads at the bold daylight robbery of surveillance footage on a certain active case."

Declan directed the last of his words directly to Jessi who was staring at the screen, clearly shocked at what she had just seen; he had thought he had had a firm understanding of what was going on, but all of his conclusions had just been upended.

There was a moment of stunned silence; a second for everyone to process what they had just seen and then chaos erupted. Everyone started talking at once, Nicole rushed over to Jessi. Stephen cornered Declan and Josh wrestled for control of the remote eager to watch the action again.

Through it all he only had eyes for Jessi, as wrapped as she was in Nicole's arms; she met his eyes over her shoulder. He could have lost her. She could have died in a shithole warehouse all alone. His breath eased out cold and slow and he took his first steps forward. Eyes were turning his way, questions were being asked, shouted, but he ignored them all.

He could only see her, her eyes that were pleading with him now to get her out. The knowledge washed over him; what she knew she could not tell them. Not if she wanted to keep them safe and though they would never understand, he did, and he would keep them safe; just as he would keep her safe.

"Kyle, what" Nicole frowned, grabbed at his arm as he pulled Jessi from her embrace, slipping between the women, he hugged her close.

"I can help her, I will, but you have to trust us," he pulled back enough to see her eyes, if he could make her understand than they all would, she would certain of it.

Behind him Jessi had hooked her fingers around his belt, "We'll be back. Just give us some time."

Time for the truth, for the assessment and the plan; and then they would make some decisions, come to some understandings and then they would face the room and share what they could all of which he said with his heart and his eyes and Nicole understood him as only she could. Smiling and cupping his cheeks she pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"OK Kyle, OK, we'll be here," nodding, he stepped back, Jessi following closely behind. There was no distance between them now. They left without another word Nicole fielding the questions, Declan lounging on the sofa, phone in hand. Preparations would have to escalated and more security measure taken, that footage showed clearly that whatever Jessi had gotten mixed up in there were determined people involved; people with money and power; never a good combination.

Alone in the hallway, he looked down at Jessi who still had a hand on his waist. Brushing back hair that had fallen over her left eyes, his fingertips traced over her temple; the soft touch revealing the depth of her pain and fear.

Easing energy her way, hoping she would take it willingly, he felt her struggle and smiled when she accepted looking up at him with a small smile and he did not miss the tears in her eyes.

As she absorbed the healing he stepped closer lacing both his hands together with hers, going with his gut, he pressed a kiss to her temple, right at the spot his fingers had touched. Her sigh was content and he smiled at the top of her head when she leaned against him; progress, finally.

"You're scared," fact, "I am too," fact, "but we can fix this," fact, "but only together," fact; her tears had turned to sobs and so he pulled her close and hugged her tight.

"But you have to trust me," and for that he needed the truth, "Jessi you have to tell me what's going on."

The words might have been lost, hidden under the tears and underneath his chin, but he just caught them.

"OK Kyle but I have to show you something first."


	5. Chapter 5

I hope this clears up some confusion and I thank you all for responding so kindly to this fic. Enjoy and please let me know what you think.

* * *

His previous assessment that Jessi had done little to change the house since it had been Adam's was wrong.

Jessi had done little where most people could see. Through the foyer she had led him past the kitchen and surprisingly into the pantry. A memory stirred. He grinned when her slender hand moved past a can of pineapple chunks to press against the smooth wood.

A switch engaged and the gears began to churn and behind the shelf of non perishable items a door slid open.

"I forgot," he smiled at her and when she returned it, a brief hint of humor in her eyes, he was reminded of their connection yesterday.

A bright memory, it had felt so good, and he was feeling that again, tucked away in the pantry; he was connected.

She looked away.

The connection dropped as quickly as her eyes flicked away. His smile faded, the lines of concentration and worry were back, and he could feel the skin between his eyes twisting.

Jessi reached out to grab the shelves and he jolted into action.

"Here let me," she was still injured. Not as badly as she had been, but certainly not healthy enough to hide the flinch when she pulled her arms back against her body.

Ignoring the cool cut of her eyes, the huff of irritated breath, he worked the shelf free and reached into the darkness. There was a light switch somewhere to the left, at least there had been. The brightness that flooded the small space was rewarding.

When Adam had first told him there were secret passageways and tunnels built into the original design of the house he had been thrilled. For hours at a time he had gone exploring, pouring over blueprints, touching the edges of every spot of molding and peeking behind every lined bookcase and hanging art.

There was still a jolt as he took his first step into the tunnel. Jessi had walked in before him and he was content to let her lead; following her sure and steady foot steps.

"I used to com down here a lot," she glanced over her shoulder, her eyebrow rising with curiosity, her interest piqued, he obliged. Sharing anecdotes and funny mishaps as they made their way deeper under the house; the air was cool, the passage getting tighter around them.

They were beyond the basement, beyond any of the finished areas he remembered, they were headed- "you didn't?"

This time she stopped and turned her smirk was profound, "I did."

Kyle grinned, feeling seventeen again, "Awesome," eager to get there now that he knew where 'there' was he brushed by her catching her hand as he went by.

"Come on," her hand was warm in his, smaller than he recalled; she didn't pull away and so the impulse proved note-worthy.

When she laced her fingers between his, he smiled into the dim light. They were making progress; now he just had to figure out what had brought about not only the distance between them, but the hostility on her part.

The door that appeared in front of him sharply interrupted his thoughts.

"That's new," from over his shoulder she snorted, ducking under his arm she stepped up next to him; with her left hand, her right was unavailable as it was firmly within his grasp and he wasn't about to let her go, she inputted a rapid set of numbers into the keypad. As silently and as quickly as any state of art door he had run across they were granted entry.

Floored by what was revealed, he simply took it all in, stepping slowly into the room.

"You did this?" there was awe in his voice; deserved, he was not floored often and what he was beyond amazing.

What had once been a cave, or he supposed cavern was the more accurate term, a few crude cuts in the wall forming primitive benches at one time had become so much more.

Years ago he had considered doing something special down here. Adam had encouraged him, given him free reign over any design modifications he chose to embark upon; but then everything had fallen apart and he had forgotten.

Whatever he had planned once upon a time had never been anything approaching of this magnitude.

"How did you manage this?"

It was in his shock that he dropped her hand, walking completely into the room, touching everything he could, seeing everything that was in sight; he just absorbed it all.

"It wasn't easy," matter of fact, that was Jess, and of course modest beyond belief.

"Easy, God, Jessi, this is fucking incredible," work tables had erected, familiar and unfamiliar pieces of equipment stacked on top of them rivaling any lab in once of those CSI shows that had been so popular years ago.

Along the north wall was a server that made his mouth water when he saw the accompanying PC's.

Ever the techno geek he stepped up close to the first piece of equipment and saw something odd.

"Jessi-what-"the PC, the server, they were recognizable, but then not; they had been modified. Moving from table to table, careful not to disrupt any pieces that looked like they were engaged in some process or another, he noted that most of the pieces were altered.

"Most of the stuff was too big for the passageway, so once they were delivered above ground, they were dismantled and moved down here. Of course that led to certain- upgrades."

Still standing back at the entrance, he could hear the pride in her voice and God was it well earned.

He could only imagine the care and patience it would have taken to do this. She would have done it all alone, every piece painstakingly ripped apart, moved, and reassembled; all alone.

The pride and pain it brought crushed down on his chest. It was something he would have liked to have helped her with. There would have been arguments over the best way to do this or move that. There would have been fights and laughter and it would have bee fun. Looking around he could picture it clearly in his mind. The false memories were bright and clear and the lack of them left him cold.

She would have worked in silence.

Shaking the thought away, breaths clearing the pain away, or pushing it away enough to see clearly, he asked, "What power source are you using?"

"Geothermal," she shrugged at his rising eyebrows; "it was nothing."

It was startling.

Jessi was brilliant, a fucking genius, just like him, and it hit him hard. It was hard always being the smartest, the one with the answers, and a never quieting brain.

Only now he might not be the smarted person in the room- he cringed- or not.

He looked at her, than at the machine she was fiddling with and reconsidered.

"You're a fucking genius Jessi," she didn't look up, but her hands stilled, her heart beat accelerated.

"Not really," she sounded uncomfortable, would not meet his eyes; how could she not know. His mouth opened to refute her words and drill his reasoning a little deeper into her thick skull when she turned away from him and headed for the computers.

"What I wanted to show you is here," having been neatly sidestepped he could little but frown at the back of her head and follow her across the room.

As the computer screen came to life he studied her as she studied the screen. He hoped she would offer up an explanation, give him something to go on, anything to help him understand; because he wanted to understand her and what all of this meant.

There might have been a sharper intake of breath or perhaps his heartbeat had strayed off course, she looked at him then, looked at him and saw him. There was a split second when he thought she might say something, something vital and important, her mouth opened, just a fraction and then she blinked once, twice, and the moment passed.

Jessi turned her face back to the computer screen, "I was working on this when I hit a wall," he forced his eyes away from her profile and towards the monitor. Back to business, slipping into the chair he flipped quickly through the documents, pages and pages of research both from the originating party and Jessi's own thoughts and observations.

A company in Sweden had been working on a vaccine. One that would help in the ever evolving fight against the bugs that liked to jump into the immune system and destroy everything it could. And they had been successful. The initial testing had shown real promise.

Then there had been a break-in, their databases had been wiped, and all their research stolen. Further investigation showed that the thieves had been working for someone well funded and well educated and the intelligence reports that had been inserted in the file suggested that whomever was behind the theft had every intention of mutating the vaccine into something potentially deadly.

Taking it all in, he read and reread portions until all the aspects unfolded before him. From her meticulous notes he gathered that Jessi's work had been twofold. First; figure out what could be made from the vaccine and second; come up with a way to stop it.

Pushing back from the desk his hands were limp against the keyboard. There were so many questions running through his head he didn't know where he could even begin. How the hell had she ended up in this situation? He had every confidence that she could work out the science and measure out the math; but how had the right people known to even find her to ask such a thing.

So that was his first question.

Jessi smiled at him, leaning against the desk to his right, and shrugged.

"It was an accident. I was just peeking into some places that should have been better defended and found something," he smirked, by nature they were both curious and he had no problem imagining Jessi hacking her way into places she wasn't supposed to be.

"Anyway, I fixed the problem averted a potential nuclear," she emphasized the word and he nodded in appreciation, "event and it sort of became a thing."

"A thing?" he wanted clarity, needed it, for years he had been out in the world fighting the good fight, helping people who couldn't help themselves, but it was nothing like this. What Jessi was tackling here, all alone, was in a level all on its own.

"Yes a thing, God, Kyle it's not a big deal," irritation shone on her face.

Irritated himself, he stood, the chair slid away as he pushed it a little too hard, "It's not just a thing Jessi."

"Yes, it really is, _Kyle_. Things happen, shit falls apart, and it makes it way out into certain channels that I monitor and I fix them. I'm a fixer."

A fixer, it sounded so simple, so clean and so very her. He was a doer; going after the evil, preventing disasters.

"And you were fixing something in the warehouse?" he prompted.

"I was trying to fix that," one finger from rose from her crossed arms and pointed to the computer, "and Ceeley has some information I need to make that happen."

"But you were interrupted by those guys," it was making sense now.

"Yes, we were there to make a deal, I needed information and he wanted money, and then there was an interruption."

That was a civil way to put the beat down she had taken at the hands of those soon to be dead bastards.

There was a debate going on in her thoughts, he stood there, studying her face, watching as she struggled to choose, and he wondered when it had become so difficult for her to confide in him.

Had that one night so many years ago done that much damage? He knew that they would have to address it since he had decided that he was going to see this through that he had to know that she was going to make it through to other side safely; that they all would. And in order for that to happen they were going to have to talk about it.

"And I still need that information."

Of all the things that he had expected, that had not been one of them. His mouth opened to forbid it, to demand that she let it go, that it was too dangerous and he wouldn't allow it.

Just in time he caught the words before they slipped through.

The room they were standing in was a testament to all she had accomplished, would accomplish, and who was he to deny her that. So he took a deep breath and pushed aside every thought and plan to tie her up until this blew over.

"How do we get it?"

To say she was shocked would have been an understatement. Her mouth opened and closed, he smirked, he had stunned her into silence; well he had words and was going to use them.

"So you were working on a way to undermine the effective of the vaccine as a weapon and in doing this had asked for information from Ceeley," she nodded.

"If everything had gone as planned you would have gotten what you needed undetected and continued your work unimpeded."

He would never have figured out what she had been up to and would have been none the wiser to the risks she was taking, but that was for another conversation.

"But things fell apart and word made it out as it tends to do that you were somehow involved and now the people who want to do bad things to a lot of people are coming after you."

Their eyes met; there wasn't any other way to put it that didn't make it sound so incredibly terrible, "Yes."

Locking her away was fast becoming a viable option.

"I am fairly certain I know how they could have mutated the vaccine into something lethal. What I don't know is how they plan to effectively turn it into a weapon. There are several options and each method of delivery affects how the virus would spread and how it would attack the body."

It wasn't a stretch to figure out where she was heading with this.

"And Ceeley had that information?"

With a sigh she nodded, "He might not have known the specifics but he was fairly certain he had enough of what I needed to make a difference. Ceeley may be a rat but he's not a monster and most of all he's not a zealot. If there are people out there that are committed enough to use such a bug they are not going to spare anyone. Low level scumbags included."

The reasoning was sound, Declan no doubt had made deals with shady characters if it meant getting at the body blocking the light, but it was not something he had ever done personally.

"Has he made contact?"

"I've been trying all the obvious and the not so obvious ones, but what happened at the warehouse and probably even more what happened at the police station will have sent him deep underground."

"So we have to find him?"

"Kyle-"

"I know that what is about to come out of your mouth is in no way shaped to be some kind of refusal of my help because of some misguided view that my work is somehow more important than what you have been doing here."

Jessi laughed, "But it so is."

It was his turn to laugh, he felt the anger building, his frustration was at its maximum, "I don't know where this is coming from or what has been going on in that thick skull of yours," he held up a hand at her interruption, "and I wasn't planning on going into this now, but maybe we should."

They were standing toe to toe, her eyes were dark, and her breathing labored and he knew he was responding in kind.

"Do you want to do this Jessi? Because I'm not sure you do, I'm not sure you're brave enough," he didn't know where the words were coming from but they hit their mark. The change in her was instant.

"Excuse me for not wanting to tarnish the saintly robes of the one and only Kyle Trager," the venom in her voice rocked him back on his heels, "Its always been you, Kyle this and Kyle that, and it's Kyle that's going to save the fucking world."

"You were the one with the destiny," old wounds were being ripped open and he had not prepared for them.

"You were the special one," there were tears in her eyes, pain in his voice and he wished he could have snatched his words back out of the sky.

"So I was just doing what I could, and leaving you out of it like I was supposed to," and that was where he lost the plot.

"Why Jessi why would you leave me out?" he grabbed her arms pulling her in close, wanting to understand, to take away the pain that was pouring out of her.

Her choking laugh was bitter and he cringed, "because you are so much more than me, you always were."

He would have said she was messing with him if he hadn't heard the absolute conviction in her voice. Jessi had always been competitive, had always had this drive to not only be the best, but to prove it. There had been signs that the psychosis had run deeper but he had never imagined that she felt this way so deeply.

His arms wound tightly around her, pulling her in closer when she tried to pull away, "You're wrong Jessi," he didn't know what else to do or to say right now, they, he would need time to set this right, "You are so so wrong."

And he would prove that to her. He knew now what he had to do, what he was going to do; this was where he was needed and where he would be. First they would set things right, she had committed to stopping a catastrophe, no small feat, and he would help her and they would do it together.

After they saved the world he would save the girl.

* * *

Jessi had retreated to the small bathroom to pull herself together and he had sat back down at the computer, going over the specifics of how she thought the virus might be distributed. None of the options were good, and none of them would be easy to combat.

They needed that information Ceeley had and they needed it right away. The door opened and she entered the room quietly, there was tension between them, but he couldn't address it now. It was time for mutual retreat.

"What's your best guess at getting to Ceeley," he asked.

"He's on the move. He's got to be. At the first sign of trouble he buries his head in the sand, but with this much heat, he's running," it made sense, rats tended to scurry at the first sign of a larger predator.

And whoever had orchestrated the assault on the police station was one hell of a predator. The money and balls it took to rob law enforcement was not one to ignore and made their involvement a dangerous and unknown variable.

Declan was already working on that angle. Jessi had insisted that she neither knew nor cared who had stolen the data, that was not what she had been requisitioned to do, and maybe she had been right in not knowing or caring when they had simply been the thief; but now they were the hunters and it made their identity very important.

"I've been thinking back over all our interactions, I've used him a lot over the years," she clarified, "he is a nervous talker and I seemed to make him nervous more often than not," she smirked.

He couldn't imagine at all why she would be considered imposing, "and I seem to recall him mentioning that his mother was from Michigan, a little town outside Flint, he hadn't been back since her funeral and was begrudging the fact that he might have to go back someday to deal with the house he had inherited."

It never ceased to amaze him how callous people could be towards their relatives, but then he supposed it took more than blood to make a family.

"It sounds as good a place as any to start," he spun around to the computer and typed in the city 'Otisville' and whistled as the search results brought up the driving directions.

"That's a hell of a drive."

She nodded, "but he wouldn't have risked taking any kind of commuter transportation. And with three days or so head start he could be there or anywhere."

"Think positive, we don't know that he would have gone anywhere beyond that."

"We don't know if he's left town at all."

He conceded the point, "but all turns point towards a retreat and this place is as good a place to start as any."

A phone began to ring as he uploaded the directions into his phone, "its Declan," he took the phone she offered him.

"Yeah," another upgrade he supposed, he didn't remember there being an internal phone system in the house before.

"Alright," he handed the phone back to Jessi who looked at him expectantly.

"Declan has a car ready for us in case there is an 'event'," he shrugged as her eyebrows rose, "he likes to be prepared. It's parked down past the southern trail in that small clearing," it was strange seeing the light of recognition flicker in her eyes. It was still so strange to think of Adam's house as hers. Yet another question he would have to ask her.

"Have they all gone home?"

Retrieving a laptop from the closest counter she sat before the computer he had working at and opened the network between the two.

"All but Lori and Nicole," he watched her work, moving files and copying data, "there are some unresolved issues that Declan and Lori need to work through," Jessi snorted at that and he wondered just how much she knew on the subject, "and my guess is Nicole is staying to be a referee as much as a mother hen."

And that got him a laugh; he smiled down at her and caught her eyes as she looked up at him. A good moment to get lost in and he found his hand reaching for her shoulder before he could stop himself and squeezed her arm.

"Kyle-"before she could tell him what he thought he saw in her eyes an alarm bell began to scream around them and her eyes widened in fear.

"What?" he was confused, shouting over the noise, she was scrambling to gather up her laptop and notes, stuffing as much as she could into a worn out messenger bag that had been on the floor by the trashcan.

"Jessi what the fuck is going on!" he shouted at her, grabbing her arm as she moved to grab the phone he had just discarded.

"We've got maybe three minutes before they're in the house," she shoved the bag and phone into his arms and moved to grab another bag and began filling it as well.

"Nicole and Lori-"

"They know how to get out, where to go, and Declan's with them, I'm sure they'll be fine," he wasn't convinced until he felt the familiar vibration in his pocket, shifting the contents in his arms to his left he dug into his pocket with his right and pulled out his phone 'Declan' the face read.

Relief flooded through him, he read the text quickly, 'safe, on the move, RUN'.

"They're safe, already moving," he looked around the room, not seeing any other exits other than the one they had come through.

"Good, I need another minute," he wasn't sure they had another thirty seconds, but she was moving methodically, typing onto various keyboards and powering on or off various pieces of equipment. She acted as though she wouldn't be back for some time, frowning as he considered the very real possibility that she might not be.

"There's no way they could find the entrance from above and even if they do they won't get through this," she entered yet another complicated series of numbers onto the keypad and when the green lights on the door hinges turned red her was certain they were locked in.

"And what if they get through that," the alarm had gone silent, the lights around them still pulsing red, the universal sign that you needed to get the fuck out.

"That they would be walking into an inferno," she pointed towards the ceiling, pipes and ran the length of the room, crisscrossing once and then again. He assumed that an unauthorized breach would result in a meltdown; she certainly knew how to protect what was hers. The thought stirred something deep inside of him.

Once upon a time he had seen what her level of devotion could accomplish, of what she could and would do to protect those she cared about. When had he lost sight of that? When had that become such an attractive quality?

"Kyle," his attention snapped back to hers from its inappropriate wandering, "You ready?"

She looked concerned, for him, he gave himself a mental shake and focused solely on his surroundings.

"Yes of course, how then are we getting out of here," she smirked and headed towards the bathroom, he followed behind closely, his arms full of no less than four bags and she carried another two; he always assumed that when on the run you were to travel light; Jessi however had other opinions.

He watched as she tugged at the seam in the wall next to the toilet, "I hope you don't have a problem with small spaces," she turned to reveal a break in the wall of rock.

"You found one of the tunnels," she nodded.

"I did and it runs, with a little help, directly into the southern trail," he grinned. They just might get out of this yet. He stepped through first, holding the flashlight as she smoothed back the panel, hiding their escape route.

"Ladies first," she slipped by him, chest to chest, their eyes met, one of her bags caught on one of his and they tugged once, twice. They were close enough he could have bent his head just a fraction and met her lips with his. The thought startled him and he jerked free in response; she gave him a curious glance before leading on down the tunnel.

They were caught up in a dangerous situation. Their lives and those of the people they loved and many more people beyond that were at stake; he knew better, he had trained better; but for all of his knowledge and training, none of it was enough to push away the sudden and fierce need he had to kiss her.


	6. Chapter 6

Wow, over a month since my last update. I am so sorry! Life and Zachary Quinto have taken over my muse and for that I apologize. I hope the length of this chapter somewhat makes up for it. Am feeling good about the next one too, so hang in there; I would love to hear your thoughts. I own nothing and mean no harm.

**Somewhere inside Wisconsin or outside Minnesota**

Sleep was eluding him. He was tired; there was no doubt about that. His eyes were burning and his thoughts were finally getting fuzzy. Going without sleep affected him like it did everyone else, just later than everyone else, and considering the time changes and jet lag; he wasn't sure just how many hours or days he had been awake.

Out of the corner of his eye he studied her. Jessi had insisted somewhere inside Montana that she was fine to drive; that had been after he had insisted that she get some sleep. And that had only come after they had each insisted they take the first driving shift.

Insistent seemed to be way of things between them.

With a mental snort he admitted he would take the strain 'no you sleep' 'no you sleep' over the disgusting level of civility that had settled between them.

Their relationship had always been antagonistic. Even when things were good between them there was a struggle. A meeting of the minds, a challenge of the spirit; an electricity that flowed back and forth between them that had, at times, literally raised his body temperature.

Now, years and life experiences later, he could admit that maybe his temperature had risen all those times for entirely different reasons. Ones that he was only now coming to terms with, except for that one errant night, there had only been a slight testing of the waters. But then he had been such a boy in so many ways. And looking back now, as he continued his silent study of her face, he wondered if maybe she had been more of a woman then than anyone, most especially him, had anticipated.

He could see now, the woman she had become, was not that very different than the person she had been, which meant she was all the more of a woman than he had imagined at only seventeen.

A mental 'what the fuck' ended that dialogue. His thoughts were circling into confusion. He squeezed his eyes together roughly and willed his thoughts to settle.

No such luck.

The observations were all well and good, but none of them brought him any closer to understanding why things had gotten so very staid and civil between them. Twenty hours in an SUV he supposed could do that.

Their hasty escape through the tunnel had been met with zero resistance. If the intruders knew of the geological peculiarities underneath the property they had made no investigation into them while they were easily escaping through them.

Shoddy recon work is what Declan had called it. The phone calls between them had been brief, but Kyle knew that Declan had gotten Nicole and Lori to safety, and was currently digging into who was running the show. Money was the key he had been told. Find who held the purse strings and you found the people in power.

He was happy to leave that to Declan who thrived on that type of research; it made him nervous. All the dead ends and shady dealings, he didn't have the stomach for it.

Declan had also managed to hook them up with a nice getaway vehicle. The black Range Rover was fully equipped and had handled the rugged terrain easily and even now on, I-90, the ride was smooth and his legs fully stretched out in the front passenger seat.

"You know if you keep thinking random thoughts you'll never get any sleep."

Her words, as much as their startling accuracy, gave him a heart-pounding jolt. How the hell had she known exactly what he was thinking?

Sitting up the words were on the tip of his tongue, but at one sideways glance at him, she rolled her eyes, "I can just tell. It's no big deal."

It was definitely a big deal.

"I beg to differ."

He reached for the lukewarm bottle of water in the center console and openly studied her profile; she wasn't giving anything away in her face. That wasn't surprising, she had always been good at hiding her feelings, but he looked anyway, he had gotten much better over the years at divining them.

"You make a face, you know," he didn't but he nodded for her to continue, "When you are thinking. There are the happy thoughts and the sad thoughts and the strange ones," now he was fairly certain she was messing with him, "and there are the random thoughts."

Disturbing, really, because he figured for the most part that she was right.

"Huh," she looked over and smirked, but what else could he say? What else did he want to say? Exhausted and on the run this was again not the time or the place to be having any kind of talk about kind of important thing.

Of course if she pressed the issue he would respond but she tilted her head just so studied his face, and gave him a smirk that made his chest constrict.

God he missed her. In that moment he saw so much of who she had been, ached fiercely for who they had been, that he looked away before he could do or say something to break the fragile peace between them.

"Lori is in love with Declan."

Her statement was so abrupt so unexpected he gaped at her.

Jessi's laugh filled the air between them, "It's funny, after all this time, everything he put her through she still loves him," she stole a look at him out of the corner of his eye, "maybe even more now than she did then."

In that moment, when their eyes met again, when his should have been closed in sleep and hers should have been firmly on the road; he wasn't entirely convinced she was still talking about Lori.

And he couldn't deny the bright flare up of joy at the thought.

**Otisville, MI**

"So what's the plan," if she appreciated the fact that he was letting her take point, she didn't express it. Her face was as calm and collected as it had been since they had left the motel before dawn.

The day before, late in the afternoon, they had agreed to stop. Find a room and a hot meal and simply sit. It was a risk they had both agreed was worth it. They didn't know if who was after them had identified her contact and what might be awaiting them at their destination.

So food and rest had become a priority.

If he had thought briefly about sharing a room with her and its implications, he lost them the second he slipped into the shower; he had insisted she go first. The water had been as much of a restorative as it had been a cleansing.

When he had finally exited the small bathroom, Jessi was already under the covers of the single bed and fast asleep.

One bed, a rather worn Queen, was all the room offered and he had just selfish enough to admit that sleeping on the floor was out.

Lying down, on top of the covers of course, his last thought before he fell asleep was of her and the feel of her breath on his cheek.

"I walk up to the front door and knock," he rolled his eyes, she smirked at him, and proceeded to walk up to said steps, "you've got my back right?"

"Of course," did she have to ask?

"Good than while I talk to him you keep your eye out for anyone wearing combat gear and we should be alright," she sounded so sure, so calm he was fairly certain everything would be OK.

**Seven Minutes Later**

Leaving Jessi alone, even for the minutes it took for her to walk boldly up to the front door and for him to sneak in the back, was seven minutes too long.

"You still owe me information Ceeley," he cringed, knowing every detail of the look accompanying that tone of voice.

"I don't owe you shit," Ceeley had either not noticed her temperament or not cared; wither way Kyle wished the man the best of luck going at Jessi with that attitude.

"I beg to differ, money was exchanged, information promised and now I've come here to collect," from the kitchen he could see them in profile, Jessi stood casually, noting but her voice betraying her irritation. Ceeley was a mixture of fear and desperation, constantly moving, hands alighted.

There was a rather troublesome bulge at the small of his back that deserved special notation.

"You ain't nothing but trouble, I always knew it, should have listened to my gut," Jessi smirked, casting a look over a meaty shoulder towards the kitchen.

"Really, well maybe you should have listened to it, but my money always paid enough to silence that voice, and that hasn't changed," she took a step to her left, Ceeley followed, giving Kyle a better view of the proceedings.

"I'm thinking what you paid ain't enough this time," Jessi merely raised an eyebrow, "I'm thinking that there is trouble following you. The same kind of trouble that shot up them cops."

The man did have his ear very low to the ground if he had heard that from the middle of nowhere.

"Yeah," shoulders were setting and back straightening as the scent of money made the man bold, "I'm definitely thinking a negotiation is in order."

Jessi sighed, her irritation growing, "There won't be any renegotiating, you've made me come all this way for information that I already paid for," she took a step closer and he couldn't help the grin that was spreading across his face, she was so very awesome in this moment.

"You will give me what I paid for and you will do it right now," and then the bulge became a problem.

The second Ceeley reached around for the gun he made his presence known, stepping into the living room, his hand extended, he had the cool press of metal in his palm before the man could spin around in surprise.

"Who the hell are you?" eyes flashed from the gun in his hand to the hard glint in his eyes, he tried to do this peacefully, really, but there were times when a good poker face, a hard steely one, was the best course.

Ceeley was no poker player, took one look at him and the gun that had been one his person and stepped back.

"What are you?" a better question, Kyle gave him credit for assessing the situation so quickly.

"Nothing you want to understand, my data Ceeley, now," Jessi extended her hand, clearly content to take point and he had no qualms about playing the part of her muscle.

"Yeah, yeah I got it," a hand slipped into the front pocket of his pants, and he withdrew a USB stick, tossing it to Jessi before stepping back.

Kyle moved into the room, gun trained on Ceeley, but his eyes were on Jessi as she rolled the bit of plastic and metal in her palm, "it better be here Ceeley, all of it," the man was nodding furiously, sweat was beginning to run down his face.

"It is I swear, all of it," Jessi nodded.

"Good, because I really, really don't want to come back here," she looked to her left, her eyes flicking to the white knuckled grip he had on the glock, "and you really don't want him coming back," he smirked at her, liking this rather tortuous side of her, he played along, tossing his nest glare at the shaking man.

"It's there, it's there," his pleas were desperate and rather tiresome, but letting him dangle was hardly unreasonable considering he had left her alone in that warehouse to bleed.

His anger was rising, he took a step forward, would have taken another, but Jessi's hand on his arm stopped him. Frowning, he looked down at the fingers that clutched the fabric of his coat, he struggled to reign in his seesawing emotions, and she stepped in close; so close her breath was warm on against his ear, "let's go."

Go, right, they had to go and save the world; right.

Tossing one last hard glare at the man, he stepped back slowly, following Jessi as they left through the front door.

"Well that wasn't so bad," double-timing it to the truck, he caught the keys she tossed at him, thrown a little harder than needed.

"Shut up," there was no heat behind his words towards her. He was mad at himself, he had almost lost it again; he could still feel the current of emotions swirling around under his skin.

Dropping the gun in the center console, he turned the engine over and pulled out onto the street; the driving helped, focused his thoughts, and brought him back to center.

"Where to?" they were far enough way from the house that they could breathe easy, both checking for cars following, just because they hadn't been interrupted didn't mean there weren't eyes out there.

Jessi had pulled her laptop out of her bag and plugged in the USB, "doesn't matter, I just need to check…" her words faded as her attention honed in on the pages filling up on her screen.

He drove until the streets thinned and the terrain changed, they were leaving the suburbs. She didn't speak and he didn't bother her, letting her think it through, he had every confidence that she would work it through and find the answers.

There were answers that he needed to find himself, ones that had nothing to do with saving the world, he glanced at her, and everything to do with saving the girl.

"I got it," her words disrupted his thoughts, she shifted closed the lid on the laptop and shifted towards him, "an airborne variant is too unstable, too unpredictable, air currents and weather anomalies would make it a fast travelling effective method but ultimately foolish."

He nodded, fascinated as much by her words as the glow of understanding in her eyes, "its water based, they plan on distributing it through a populated water source."

"And that's a good thing?" she rolled her eyes.

"That's a better thing, water based will make it easier for them to control and distribute, but it will also make it easier for me to counter-act."

"Good news," he shared her smile, she went on some more about the science, and he heard it all, his brain filtering the formulas, coming up with his own suggestions and theories, this he did while driving; but most importantly he studied her. Watched her come alive as her mind unraveled the science behind the virus and the weapon it had been turned into.

"It should have been like this the whole time," her words died at his interruption, a question slipping into her eyes.

"This, us," he waved between them; "brainstorming, speaking language we don't have to translate," the words were slipping out without permission. They weren't ready for this, he knew he was being selfish, she was excited by the discoveries and he had intruded on her joy.

"I don't know what you're talking about," lies; she turned away from him, her body and her words signaling the end of her involvement in the conversation.

Too late for avoiding it, "you know exactly what I'm talking about," he pressed on.

"I really don't," the ice was back in her voice, he was surprised when her breath didn't frost the glass she was studiously staring out at.

"How many times have you wanted to share it, have you wanted to tell someone share with anyone what it's like," the words were rolling out of him full stop, "when you look at things and just see how to unravel them and then you have to take time to explain each step in layman's terms."

He didn't know if he was describing her thoughts or his own, at that point it didn't matter anymore.

"Shut up," he jaw clenched at her dismissal.

"No," he could be every bit as stubborn as her.

"Yes," she began scrabbling at her seat belt.

"What are you doing?" his foot eased off the accelerator as a part of him sensed she was about to be rash.

"Stop the car," truck, he corrected; his thoughts muddled by her reaction; of course she would run.

Angry now, he didn't so much as stop as slam on the breaks, an arm shooting out to hold her back, he put enough energy behind the move to keep her in place when the discarded belt would not.

"Jessi-"she was gone from the truck before he could say anymore.

Engine still running, door wide open, he followed her. The air was harsh, cooler than he was prepared for. She wasn't running, walking briskly maybe, but her path was leading away from the truck, away from him.

The field might have had corn growing on it at some point, short tight stalks crunched under foot as he made his way after her.

"Jessi," she ignored him, running now, he ran after her, there was no way he was going to let her get away from him; told her just that.

His words had a paralyzing affect on her, stopping on a dime she turned, eyes seething, "really Kyle, you aren't going to let me 'slip away', really? What's different about this time? What makes you so sure I would want you to," she was yelling at him, her anger and pain rolling across the distance between them and slamming him in the chest.

"Jessi," an expletive cut him off, so unexpectedly filthy coming from her that his mouth snapped shut.

"I don't want to hear it, you know, I really don't, I ran that next day, after that night, I ran and ran and hoped and prayed and waited for you to come find me. Hours turned into days and days into weeks and still I stupidly waited not believing what they had said; I didn't want to, I couldn't believe them, I didn't want to not after that night, not after what we shared."

The rush of words was an open, gaping wound, no closure at their revelation; no, she had thrown it at him and looked at broken as she had when it had been bottled up.

"I wanted it, for so long, for you to see what I saw; to know what I knew. We were a pair, Kyle and Jessi, Jessi and Kyle, but you never did."

The arms she had wrapped around her waist tightened whether against the cold or the emotion he couldn't guess, couldn't think could simply absorb all she was throwing at him.

"I pushed it away, all of it, locked it up tight, wishing and wishing it had never happened, but I couldn't so I denied it. All of you and what was and might have been, pushed it back and threw away the freaking key; but then you just had to come riding in, uninvited. Kyle the savior, here to protect poor crazy Jessi, I didn't want you, not there, not here, not now, so don't you dare come back at me with what-ifs; don't you dare."

Shame filled him. There hadn't been anything keeping him from checking up on her over the years. Jessi had always been there, a phone call away, and had he wanted too he could have reached out, done something to fix what was broken between them.

That morning he had been so shocked so hurt at her disappearance that he hadn't thought clearly, hadn't really considered her actions, her words in that stupid note. A part of him had known, had felt that something was wrong, a part he ignored; his pride and anger had shut it up real quick.

That night, that wonderful night, it had been the last time he had felt so connected to someone. Their connection the night before last had been close; her rescue of him, helping him reign in his heart and mind had been a taste of what it had been that night.

He didn't know what to say or do to even start to make it right again, he knew one thing, felt it from the top of what he knew to the very bottom of where he had ever been, crossing the distance between them, he took her by the arms, rougher than he intended, power was surging between them, but he ignore it, finding her eyes, holding them, "No matter what, now or then or in the future, I would never, ever give up what we shared; never."

Closing his eyes he pushed against her defenses, intruding where he had no right, he ignored the protests, together they would go back through the memories, she gasped, realizing too late his intent, he pulled her along with him, his power catching her unprepared he yanked her back into the past; back to that night.


	7. Chapter 7

There are no excuses for the delay in this chapter. I've just been having trouble writing so please forgive me. I hope this explains some things. Please let me know what you think. I own nothing and mean no harm.

* * *

His room, his old room, with the tub and the drawings, and unfinished walls; it was perhaps the one place he had ever felt at peace.

They stood in the center of the room, the back of his thighs pressing against the tub, Jessi stood in front of him, her back pressed to his chest. He couldn't imagine what she was thinking, well maybe he could, even trapped in his memory as she was she was sending waves of anger and frustration at his mental avatar.

Darkness filtered into the room, he didn't remember the blinds being open, and it was rather foolish of him, given the frequency with which people used his window as an entrance.

He had been understandably distracted though; sighing he took a step to his right, turning towards the tub, bringing her with him. She didn't resist, he had prepared for her limbs to be unmoving, but she crossed the floor without hesitation.

Before them a younger Kyle slept, fitfully twisting in the tub, he couldn't remember what the dream had been about, not anymore. Night after night it had plagued him; Nicole had surmised that it was his anxiety at his impending graduation and summer plans. Changes had been hard for him then, he wasn't exactly thrilled with them now, but he didn't have the dreams anymore.

The scene changed before them, Jessi was there, her hair pulled back in a messy bun, her shorts revealing more leg than he remembered. Had she always slept in such tiny garments? Did she still? The question was untimely but he still glanced down at the top of her calculating the odds of finding out and not losing a limb.

They didn't look good.

"Kyle," memory Jessi was whispering to him, a hand gently squeezing his shoulder, "Kyle wake up."

Squeezing with more force, memory Kyle sat up with a jolt. Anxiety and fear were written all over his face, his breathing labored, "Je-Jessi?"

"You were dreaming again, another bad one," his eyes had closed, absorbing her words, sifting out the last of the dream, he remembered being so very grateful for her appearance for knowing exactly when he needed her.

He had sat up, reaching for her when she would have pulled away, his eyes searching for hers in the dark. The events unfolded just as he remembered, would recall on occasion in the dark when he needed a good thought to guide him though the bad hours.

Jessi had slid into the small space he had created for her; him on his left side, her on her right. He had moved first, fingers reaching out to trace the lines of her face, her nose, her cheeks, he had explored methodically.

In his arms now, he felt Jessi tense as her former self nipped at his finger playfully; had she forgotten? Had she pushed the memory so far away that the details had become blurry?

He missed the first brush of their lips.

Emotions were clogging up his thoughts; he wondered if she could feel it, could feel the waves pouring off of him. His memory his thoughts and feelings and he wished that it was her perspective he was seeing, he wanted to know that she had been as wrapped up in lust and curiosity as he had been.

By this point their kisses had grown more frantic, their hands had begun to explore; he remembered the curve of her breast in his palm, the texture of her nipple underneath his thumb. The insane pleasure of her nails across his abs, her touch was fire against his skin, and he remembered thinking of a raging fever, a fever he couldn't break, didn't want to.

The angles had been all kinds of awkward, but they were mad intelligent, had managed to figure out where to best place hands and teeth and tongues.

Perhaps if he had lost his virginity that night things might have turned out differently.

As it was, he had touched her body until she had arched towards him, the sound of her orgasm a slick vibration against his tongue. She reciprocated, wrapping her hand around his cock, pumping and pulling until he couldn't hold back any longer.

Jessi had been the first one to show him how good it could be, how wonderful being alive was.

How had he forgotten that?

After he ejaculated they had stared at one another, her hand still down his pants, his up her shirt; the moment had stretched. He saw small smiles and light kisses and regardless of the mess and partial nudity they had fallen asleep; limbs entangled and foreheads pressed together.

"It was my first orgasm," he didn't know why he spoke, but it was eerie watching a younger version of himself holding a younger version of her.

His Jessi squirmed within his arms but he didn't let go.

"It was the first time I had touched a breast or slid my fingers inside of a woman," Jessi's breaths were short, haggard things and he could hear the loud thump of her heart against his chest.

"Shut up," the venom made him wince, but he didn't pull away, his armor was thicker now.

"I wanted you so badly," the words were coming easier now as the memories and desires came rushing back, "God I remember thinking that this was it, this was the night I was going to lose my virginity and I remember being so excited that it was going to be with you."

"Shut up Kyle, just shut up," and he did, but then he didn't want too.

"If anyone would have asked me what my plans were for the next day, the next night, I would have told them they were you," anger crept up his neck, he turned her roughly in his arms.

More pissed when she turned her face away from him, "just you Jessi, do you hear me. I wanted you, just you, and then I woke up and you were gone."

God he had been pissed, the scene changed Kyle was waking, sitting up in the tub, confusion etched on his face as he found himself alone. And then there was the smile, the one full of promise and excitement.

Jessi had turned back around in time to see it and he could feel the impact it had on her as though she were struck physically by it.

"There, see, that was for you," he was being cruel, he could see it now, could feel her pain and her frustration. It wasn't like him to be so unyielding but this had been building and couldn't be avoided anymore.

With a curse Jessi dug her finger into the tops of his hands, her nails digging painfully into his skin; he felt the power emanating from her the instant before the world around them changed.

They stood in the hall outside the kitchen, Jessi walked past them, a smile on her face that tugged at his heart. He was in no way the only one affected by what they had shared; the looks she kept sending back towards the closed door to his bedroom showed him that.

As distracted as he was by studying her younger self he didn't note the voices coming from the kitchen until she stopped to listen.

"I don't know what you expect us to do Kyle and Jessi have grown close," Nicole's voice carried frustration and irritation and Kyle frowned wondering who she was talking too.

And then there came the reply, from a voice he knew well, Foss.

For the next ten minutes he stood stunned, still holding onto Jessi as Foss, Nicole and Steven weighed the merits of having him stay under the same roof as Jessi.

Foss saw the potential for romance between himself and Amanda and had dismissed it, knowing in that Foss-way that nothing would ever come of it; not so when it came to him and Jessi. Foss was absolutely convinced that any relationship that came between them would be a serious distraction to his training.

"Foss didn't want us together," he almost jumped, having been so absorbed in the adults conversation that he forgot Jessi was there, both of them, listening to the incredible conversation going on.

"He thought I would keep you from reaching your full potential," there was no anger in her words, no disgust, two very prevalent emotions churning inside of him at the moment.

He had had just about enough of that cold tone of her voice. Twisting Jessi in his arms, pressing her up against the wall he placed his hand on either side of her head, blocking her when she would have ducked free of him, "and what did you think?"

Jessi rolled her eyes, "what do you think I thought? I thought that they were out of their minds, I thought that you cared enough to do both."

That was not the answer he was expecting.

"If you thought that than why did you leave?" if she had stayed and told him, they could have laughed about it, laughed and rolled their eyes and confronted the grown-ups and everything would have been different.

"I left because I didn't know how to stay, I left because maybe they were right, and I left because," her dark eyes rose up to meet his, "because I was a hundred percent certain that you would follow."

Only he hadn't.

Hours would pass and the house would wake up and he would head upstairs excited and uncertain and come face to face with her empty bedroom. Everything had been so jumbled, "I was so angry Jessi, so angry and confused and," and there were no excuses.

How could he not have followed her? How had he let Foss and the Tragers talk him into accepting her departure so easily? How had the adults accepted it so easily?

Dropping his head to hers, their foreheads touching, he willed himself to be in this moment, to be able to go back and redo things.

"I should have come after you, I should have," there was more he wanted to say, and 'I'm sorry' just didn't seem like enough. He had thought she hadn't wanted him, had felt rejected and angry at her disappearance, but he should have known better.

Jessi had always wanted him, everyone had known it he had known it, he just hadn't had faith in it.

All of this he whispered to her, pulling her in close when she tried to pull away, "No, no, no, no," she didn't want his words, not now, not after so much time apart.

This he refused, it wasn't too late for them, and he wouldn't accept that. Pushing them out of the memories not letting her go even when she pushed against him, mind and body,

Together they tumbled to the grass, she scrambled away from him, but he recovered and grabbed an ankle yanking her back until he had a hand around her waist.

"Stop, Jessi, stop!" she continued to fight him, he wasn't sure why anymore; they were always at odds, fighting each other when they should be walking together side by side. Corny, he imagined what she would say if he told her that, but he was too busy keeping her foot from landing in a very painful spot.

It all boiled down to one thing, finally pinning her on her back, he laid firmly on top of her, twining their fingers together until she stopped squirming, "I was stupid, young and so very unsure what to do with a woman like you," she arched an eyebrow at him and smirked, "things are different now Jessi, I'm all grown-up; we're all grown up."

"I can still run," this time he smirked down at her, "true, but this time you can bet that I'll follow."

And he'd find her, wherever she ran he would find her, Jessi was his now and he was not letting go, which was his last thought before his lips met hers.


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks to those of you who are still reviewing this fic. I know the chapters aren't coming as quickly but I am trying, your reviews help ever so much, so enjoy and let me know what you thought. Also I wanted to thank my boys who provided insight into the weapon choices at the end of the chapter.

* * *

Jessi had decked him, hard, the instant they were on their feet. Still reeling from the kiss, his reaction to her fist coming at his face had been zero. He had felt every bit of strength behind the punch; Jessi was never one to pull any punches.

Not that he hadn't deserved it, taking what wasn't offered was never the way to get anything. He had wanted to apologize, his mouth had opened and her hand had come up, cutting him off with a sharp, "don't."

That one word had been the last one to pass between them for the past several hours. Jessi had marched over to the driver's side door and he had handed over the keys without hesitation. Once back at the hotel Jessi had gone immediately to her computer.

Left with no clear job Kyle had checked in with Declan and left a message with Foss.

The memories he had shared with Jessi were still as crystal clear in his head as that afternoon, her pain was still a fresh wound in his chest, and he was itching to share his thoughts on what had happened so many years ago. Foss and to some extent Stephen and Nicole had made a judgment that had changed the course of his and Jessi's lives. More importantly Jessi had walked out of that hallway, different, and he didn't have the first idea how to undo that.

Not true exactly, he had an idea, a crazy one maybe, working through the practicalities of said idea he jogged across the two-lane highway and up to the door of the pizza place he had called dinner in.

Stepping inside, the warmth of the ovens and the mix of dough and spice put his tumbling thoughts to rest.

It was hard to be so conflicted when food, good 'bad for you' food, was imminent. On impulse Kyle added several slices of what looked to be good homemade cheesecake and carrot cake.

Between the pizza, sodas and sides, he had neglected to leave a hand free for defense or more pressing entry, "stupid," he mumbled to himself willing the room key out of the pocket of his jeans to no avail.

With a booted foot he kicked as gently as possible on the door, hoping to get Jessi's attention and not startle her. Seconds passed, a full minute he might have guessed if pressed, and doubt crept in.

His eyes flicked to the right, the truck was still there, but that in no way meant she was still there.

Jessi could have left him. Her anger at his return and the liberties he had taken could have driven her away and he would have deserved that; and worse.

Yes, she could have run.

And he would follow.

A split second before the food was heading for the pavement the door swung open startling him enough that he swore.

Jessi arched an eyebrow at him; her smirk grew to epic proportions, "were you expecting someone else?"

Grateful to be spoken to, even if he was being teased, he shook his head, "just lost in thought."

Not so lost that he wouldn't have noticed the gun in her right hand as he passed by, knowing that she had prepared for someone else at the door, humbled him. Her caution was wise and he was going to have to snap out of whatever was making him commit novice mistakes.

"Hungry?" he grinned at her, hoping the offering of food might bring about some peace. He still wanted to apologize, not for the kiss, not ever that, but for how he had simply grabbed and taken and just thinking about it was stirring his blood.

Jessi sat in the chair he pulled out for and gave him a small smile when he pulled out the desserts, cheese fries, and jalapeno poppers.

"Healthy meal," she reached for a popper, he laughed, his breaths easing at her humor.

The meal was kept casual, whether by accident or design, neither broached the subject of why they were here, but focused instead on where they had been.

Kyle told her about the lush vineyards in France he had wandered through, she shared her time in New Zealand backpacking and learning survival, before he knew it he began to speak about Africa.

Describing the heart ache and the joy that had followed him for that year and a half had been a shock. He never talked about Africa.

When he committed to a place, to a people, Declan would provide technical support and Intel, but for the day to day ops, that was all on him.

Medics and farmers had to coordinated, teachers and holy men needed to be escorted through rough territory, and that was also on him. Specialists that were brought in were a tremendous help, but were rotated out before what they were witnessing, what they were doing, affected them. So again it fell to him to burden the worst humanity could inflict upon one another. Helping people at the expense of others was not acceptable, "what about your expense?"

Kyle blinked, frowning down at his hands, not sure how to answer her question.

"You go out there and give and help and you do it alone," the surprise and pain in her voice startled him, looking back to her, the wide eyes and glassy sheen of them shocked him.

"I had no idea," she shook her head, wiping at the tears, "no idea."

This moment here, over cake and pizza, was pivotal. He wasn't sure what she had thought the day to day life was like he had been living, but he had clearly shattered several, if not all, of her ideas.

Had she thought what he had done was easy? That the struggle to help wouldn't have changed him? The struggles and decisions, hard ones, one that had killed people, had fundamentally altered who he was.

But how would she know that? How would anyone in his life know that from a few phone calls especially someone who had drifted as far away from him as Jessi. Kyle had spent the past few days coming to terms with the fact that he didn't know Jessi anymore, that who she was now was very different from the person he had last considered himself especially close too.

Now it looked like Jessi was coming to the same conclusion about him.

"We don't know each other at all anymore," bingo, she sounded so sad though, so absolutely taken aback by the thought that he found himself reaching for her before he could think better of it.

Their hands met by her can of Pepsi and he tried to rub some warmth back into her knuckles with his thumbs, her skin was cooler than he would have liked.

"I know that you are important to me," he wanted to say more, much more, but he knew neither were ready for that.

"I know that I am committed to this," he squeezed her hand, letting her interpret his words as she would.

"And I know that if we want to fix this, fix us, we can," and the certainty of fact he didn't hold back, "we can do anything"

Jessi laughed, loud and clear and his smile in return positively hurt.

"OK Kyle," she squeezed his hand back, "OK."

It was a start; he would take that.

* * *

"I got the information you asked for," Declan sounded more than a little excited at the results, Kyle could relate, knowing however that Jessi would not be amused he shifted his phone to his other ear and glanced over his shoulder.

Jessi was absorbed in her calculations. Without a proper lab to work in, they were trying to figure a way around that, her solution had been to run as many scenarios in a virtual lab as possible. It hadn't been her first or even second choice, but until they found a safe place to duck and cover and let her work, the virtual world was all she had.

Grabbing the empty ice bucket he waved it in Jessi's general direction to which she simply frowned at and returned to her work, Kyle wasn't used to being ignored, it irked him to no end that since their 'moment' at dinner they had gone back to having a formal distance between them.

At least Jessi had; he had been forced to adhere to that and that too irked him.

"What did you find?" Kyle made his way slowly down the hallway his eyes alert to his surrounding as Declan recited the names and addresses of the men involved in the warehouse assault.

"Do I want to know how you dug this up?" Declan certainly worked fast and Kyle could only wonder at how legal it could be.

"I know a guy who owed me a favor, he can work wonders with facial recognition and a quick search through the DMV and there you go."

"There you go," he repeated. He wasn't sure what he was going to do with the information yet, he knew that at least three of them would be bleeding, the ones that had laid their hands on _her_ they would be feeling his fists on their skin sooner rather than later.

"I need you to find something," as he collected the ice he ran through what Jessi had said she would need to make the counteragent. Beyond an actual lab there would need to be chemicals and supplies that would raise certain flags if not collected properly.

"Jessi move within some serious circles man," the surprise in Declan's voice piqued his curiosity.

"Explain," Declan proceeded to tell him that Jessi had emailed them while they were on the road, giving him some names of people she worked with, at least one of her sources at what may or may not be the DOD.

"I think that whatever Jessi is involved is not anything as banal as the DOD."

Kyle frowned, "You think she's off the books?"

"Dude I don't think there is written language for what she's got clearance for."

Jessi had been playing down her government jobs, he thought he knew why, of course he knew why, but it didn't mean it didn't hurt. To be left out of something so important, like how she must have felt all those years he was off doing secretive and spectacular things and left her out of the loop.

Wishing he had a third hand to rub the tension out between his eyes he kicked at the ice machine instead.

"Just see what you can do about a location and Declan keep it really close to your chest. I have a bad feeling."

They had managed to keep one step ahead of the bad guys, but their luck could turn at any time.

Slipping his phone into his pocket he made his way back down the hall towards their room.

The door was in sight, the key was already out and ready in his hand.

He had a second warning, all of his senses burst outwards and the ice bucket crashed to the floor as he went for the gun tucked into the waistband of his pants. In one smooth motion he dropped to one knee and rolled to his right, the bullet slamming into the stucco where he had been standing, a head shot.

Kyle came up firing, automatically gauging the shot and firing in response. There had been gunfights before, never stateside, and it seemed surreal to be exchanging fire in the glow of the Holiday Inn sign, but it couldn't be helped.

Kill or be killed, it was a lesson he had never wanted to learn.

'KYLE!' Jessi called him, reaching with her mind and slamming into his, he did his best to reassure her, giving her what details he could and still lay down suppressive fire. As many shots as he making, there still bullets flying his way.

'Two seconds Kyle. Let me get a shot lined up.' Jessi had been most impressed with the Mauser SP66 Declan had loaded into the back of the Rover and had itched to get her hands on it. Not shocked at her excitement over the bolt action rifle, not after getting a glance and feel of her SIG-Sauer P-226, with the full fifteen rounds and the ability to be used with either hand, he was seriously reconsidering his own, Beretta 92.

Keeping his head down, he counted off the seconds in his head as he counted off the rounds he shot back. Jessi would come through, he had no doubt, his breathing calmed, bits and pieces of destroyed stucco fell onto his face and he shook it off without complaint.

The boom from overhead was deafening, Jessi had taken her shot, immediately the return fire ceased. Then a quick second and third shot followed and Kyle knew that the assailant had not been alone.

'Clear' she was all manner of assured in his head and he rose without question, his eyes scanning the corridor; he made it to the door in five steps.

"Let's move," Jessi was already at the entry, bag over her left shoulder, rifle over her right, her gun was out and the safety was off.

She covered him as he grabbed his bag and keys and they left the room at the first of the sirens.

They drove until the town was fifty miles out of range and they were both confident they hadn't been followed. His phone rang as soon as they decided it was safe to stop for gas, "That would be Declan," he fished his phone out of his pocket and scanned the text, keeping one eye on the road.

"You know that's not very safe," he grinned at Jessi even as he expertly typed a response one handed.

"I like to live dangerously," multi-tasking was easier for the two of them, and she knew it, but Jessi snorted anyway.

"Declan found a place, a little out of the way, but we should be able to hole up there long enough for you to do what you need to," he handed her the phone and she typed in the coordinates into the onboard GPS of the Rover.

"Well out of the way is a bit generous," Jessi frowned at what she read and pulled her laptop out of her bag, "I find it hard to believe there is anything in Jericho, Kansas that has what we need."

Kyle laughed, "I never took you for such a snob," Jessi rolled her eyes, her fingers flying over the keyboard, "find anything?"

She snapped the lid shut with a huff, "Nothing, wherever you're taking us it's not on the grid," she didn't sound happy about it.

His eyebrows rose, "Well I guess you are just going to have to trust me."

Jessi studied him, he could feel the weight of her gaze, "I guess I will."

He grit his teeth until the muscles ached, it hurt more than he wanted to admit that there was such a lack of conviction in her words.


	9. Chapter 9

So sorry for the long wait for the update. I hope there is still interest in this fic, I do love it so. Please let me know what you think and I appreciate everyone who took the time to review during the last chapter.

Thanks!

Their luck needed to hold out a little bit longer.

"Come on, come on," next to him Jessi was willing the elevator to move faster towards its destination. Knowing that she could probably get the car there faster with some proper motivation he took her fisted hand into his own.

Startled by the movement Jessi stared down at their entwining fingers, frowning, but not pulling away from the contact. That at least was something, and he had succeeded in distracting her enough that their destination arrived without complication.

After their stop in Kansas, Jericho had proven to be quite helpful, their contact, a Robert Hawkins had been the kind of useful individual who didn't ask a lot of questions. Jessi had been able to work uninterrupted for twelve hours straight stopping only when she had hit a wall. Her frustration had begun to spill over onto their surroundings, it turned out he wasn't the only one who had the occasional power spill.

Kyle had found it necessary to intervene and insist she get some sleep when the walls had begun to bow and shake under the strain of her frustration. That hadn't gone over well, but he could stand her ire, he was getting better at it. No sooner had her eyes opened did she turn to him and he could see she had the answer.

He had smirked at her, but she had drawn the line at hearing him say 'I told you so'; he had said it anyway.

An hour after she had run the final test she had made a phone call, "New York," she had muttered and they had gotten back on the road. Declan had made some headway into who was behind the money, Jessi had given him an email address, a couple of agents in the FBI that she trusted.

Again he suspected that her clearance was high, higher maybe than he had first estimated because Declan had not been off the phone long before Kyle got an email alert on his phone, FBI credentials were being sent to his inbox.

Jessi's name carried weight and people were responding. Kyle had picked up his FBI visitor badge, it had struck him as odd that a privately funded corporation was issuing FBI credentials, but Jessi had simply nodded as he had pinned his to his shirt. Her badge looked a little worse for wear; he had asked her if she had done much consulting for them, "I take phone calls now and then."

Once again he had cursed the distance between them.

The car carrying them up didn't leave that much distance between them, and that was something, that, and she was still holding his hand; which in every way was so much more.

There was no bell to alert anyone as the doors slid open, when you were this high up and having passed through so many protocols you did not need anything as banal as elevator sound effects.

Glass and chrome and absolute silence met them, Kyle immediately went on alert, and he had no patience for places that echoed nothing.

"You get used to the silence," Jessi shrugged a shoulder at him picking up on his unease, "it has something to do with the acoustic sterility. They house all kinds of special things here."

He still didn't know who they were or how well Jessi knew them, but he hadn't been left in the lobby, and for that he would keep his mouth shut and simply observe. Although he was still irked that the suited men had taken his guns the strain of the past few days left him itchy without them, but he had other weapons at his disposal that weren't so easy to disarm.

"Miss Emerson," a young woman approached them from the end of the white hallway, "Miss Sharp is waiting for you," the relief on Jessi's face was palpable; Kyle felt the change in her and his own reaction follow suit.

Just hearing that name had put Jessi at such ease Kyle followed quietly, considering whom Nina Sharp was and why Jessi had insisted they come to her.

As they approached the large doors at the end of the hall Jessi squeezed his hand, he took the gesture as one of reassurance, and he frowned at her. What could possibly be waiting for them if she felt the need to reassure him? His guard went up in an instant.

"It's nothing, really," Jessi had sensed his unease, pulled him just short of the doorway, "Nina knows I'm different, and by association you," the surprise hit him and he felt a hundred questions rise.

Working at her bottom lip he knew there was more, something big, "why didn't you tell me this before," she shrugged, her eyes meeting his.

"I forgot?" weak, he smirked.

The irritation crinkled into lines around her eyes, "Whatever, I'll fill you in later," that she would, letting her tug him into the room he was still focused on her that he failed to notice there were people in the room other than Nina Sharp.

"Kyle?" his head snapped up, he knew that voice.

"Peter?" their escort had disappeared leaving them in the room with three solemn looking individuals and Peter Bishop.

"Kyle Trager, how the hell are you," before he could swallow the shock Peter had moved towards him and had pulled him into an impromptu hug.

Peter Bishop had been a very useful resource during one of his turns in the Middle East; Kyle might even go so far as to say he was a friend.

"Peter, hi," gathering his thought was difficult, Jessi was sending off really weird vibes, and he was assaulted by memories of sand and heat and the fresh rip of blood.

"What are you doing here," Peter was never one to be out of words, his sharp eyes moved over to Jessi, "wait, you know Jessi."

Having taken command of the room Peter turned back to the people who stood around the large glass desk, an older woman with short red hair was looking at the reunion with an amused face, he guessed her to be Nina Sharp. The tall rail thin black man with suspicious eyes whispered something to the younger woman with stunning looks and long hair.

"Wait, wait," Peter had spun his words back to Kyle, "_this_ is your Jessi," Peter pointed at Jessi who stared at Kyle, her eyebrow arching.

Jessi wasn't about to be let off the hook though as Peter rounded on her, "than this must be _your_ Kyle."

Kyle sent his own smirk and eyebrow right at Jessi who was back to gnawing at her lip. What exactly had she been saying about him? A part of him cringed recalling one night in Kuwait, Peter had smuggled in some grade-A Russian vodka and they had indulged.

There might have been some rambling about loves lost, he hoped Peter didn't remember much of what was shared.

The smirk Peter gave him dashed those hopes. Peter Bishop could hold his liquor and was far more intelligent than he was probably given credit for. Kyle had found it easy to pass time with him.

"Peter I do believe you are being incredibly rude, I am Nina Sharp," coming out from behind the desk, Sharp came towards them hand extended in welcome, "you must be Kyle."

The handshake was firm, too firm, Kyle studied the hand in his, and there was no pulse, artificial warmth radiated from it.

"Fascinating," Sharp was staring at him, Kyle quickly released her hand, apologizing.

"Nonsense, it's simply amazing that you can tell at a glance, a touch that it's artificial," Kyle slipped Jessi a look; Nina Sharp knew more than he suspected.

"She knows everything," Jessi blurted out, "about me, and what Adam did," and by extension him.

"Yes, yes, Massive Dynamic was very closely monitoring the research Adam Baylin was conducting."

"Illegal research," Sharp gave the tall man whose low rumble condemned her excitement a nasty look over her shoulder. He stepped forwards and Kyle got the impression that not many people would be getting first hand introductions to the people in the room.

"Special Agent Broyles," hands were shaken and Peter stepped in once again.

"This is Special Agent Olivia Dunham," Dunham cut her eyes at Peter and Kyle couldn't help but think of Declan and Lori.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Trager," Kyle blanched.

"It's Kyle, please," he smiled and she returned in kind. Up close Olivia Dunham was more than beautiful, he might have stared, and there may have been a hint of blush creeping up his neck.

Jessi snorted, his smile was sheepish as he looked back at her, Nina Sharp stepped in swiftly, "well now that we have all been properly introduced or re-introduced, which will be a most fascinating story I'm sure, there are some terrorist activities that need to be averted."

The woman knew how to command a room, at once people got to work, a console with some impressive machinery appeared and Jessi got to work uploading her data. Peter and Sharp followed, offering their knowledge on the hard science.

Kyle went over what Dunham and the FBI had gathered on their attackers and what Declan had found during his money trail.

"You know I feel stupid that I never put it together," Peter had cornered him after Jessi had asked for a proper lab and while he had been loath to have her out of his sight, a part of him still thought that she would slip away, Sharp and Broyles had whisked her away before he could tag along, or voice a complaint. Not that he has any right too, Jessi was a big girl and had been running ops like this for a long time without him.

Dunham was still staring at the desktop full of papers, trying to make connections and see the invisible threads winding through the people involved, "You talked about Jessi that one night," Kyle winced, of course Peter had to just put it out there, "and there was mention of a 'Kyle XY' in her file," at that Kyle pulled a face.

"Whatever Kyle, please we all have a file," considering they were in one of the most powerful corporations in this or any other country, working side by side with one of the best law enforcement agencies it shouldn't have surprised him that there were files.

Peter began rambling on about the time they had spent together, every once in a while he would slip up on a comment Jessi might have made about her 'Kyle'.

Agent Dunham had gone rigid at the tinkling sound of a cell phone; Peter tensed beside him and Kyle's attention amped up. From across the room Olivia found Peter and the unspoken communication between them piqued Kyle's interest.

Mentally shrugging off what he knew about Peter and what he didn't know about Olivia he reassessed the two as strangers; every nerve stretched out, all of his senses expanded.

The results were staggering, his eyes snapped open, two pairs of eyes were staring at him; they were special, maybe not _special _ in the way he was but not entirely normal either. Their connection was more, their intuition and abilities that much better.

He wondered if they had explored the possibilities, if their connection had led to something more; the way Peter stood as close to the blonde as possible suggested that regardless of what they were there was something more there.

Jessi had to have seen it, she was as observant as he was, more so maybe, and Kyle wondered if she had approached either of them with the information. There was little chance of that; Jessi was much more of an observer than commentator, or in this case matchmaker.

"Good news," Nina Sharp strode into the room, commanding all their attention, "Jessi has in fact successfully countered the devious plans of the terrorists and of course all of the resources here at Massive Dynamics are working diligently to manufacture her remedy," the speech was suited more towards a room full of shareholders than an FBI agent and two 'consultants'.

"Thank you Nina, the FBI of course appreciates the due diligence of Massive Dynamics," the tension between Olivia and Sharp was palpable.

"Kyle, I believe Jessi was asking for you. Kelly will show you to the lab."

"Find me before you disappear again," Peter pointed at him.

Kyle smirked at him, "I'll do that," Peter had slipped away without warning way more than he had ever thought to after more than one assurance that he wouldn't do such a thing.

Friends were hard to come by these days, and even fewer who knew the secret about who he was, so maybe he would find Peter, exchange more current information. There was every chance he was going to be Kyle Trager for a while and there was nothing keeping him from reaching out, making connections.

Foss would have some words on the subject; Kyle had a few choice words for the man as well. The issue of Jessi's departure so many years ago was an open wound that he felt certain wouldn't heal until talked it out.

For now though he refocused his attention to the task at hand; saving the world, again.

Massive Dynamic certainly lived up to its name. The inside of the structure was a maze of hallways and elevators and random atriums; following the confident click of Kelly's dark and professional heels Kyle was fairly confident that should he need to he would have been able to find his way back to Peter or better yet find his way to Jessi on his own.

But having a guide was nice and much less work, "You'll find Miss Emerson through that door," Kelly pointed to the non-descript door to his right, and he thanked her. Stepping through his eyes couldn't help but squint at the bright, sterile room that greeted him.

Well almost greeted him, he was standing in the observation room of what was clearly one of the most advanced laboratories he could have ever imagined. Stepping up to the glass he spotted Jessi behind a microscope, grinning at the image of her in the lab coat.

She looked up then, sensing his presence he supposed. Taking advantage of the circumstance he grinned and pointed at her coat, giving her a wink and thumbs up.

He laughed aloud at her huff, that even though they were separated by tempered glass he swore he could hear, her eyes left his, turning back to her work, she ignored him, yes, but couldn't hide the blush on her cheeks.

Leaning back against the wall he watched her, knowing full well that she was dawdling, making him wait, hoping to irritate him. There was nothing irritating about watching her work, her hands were confident, her eyes studious, and he was absolutely captivated by every movement.

There was no way he wasn't totally and completely falling for her; if he could only get her to maybe fall back a little his way he would count himself lucky.

Her stalling could only last so long, she was making her way towards the decontamination chamber; he frowned wondering what other nasties had been in those glass vials and slides. Jessi probably hadn't thought to ask, no concern for her safety if it meant getting results; it was a trait they shared.

The rush of gas and chemicals drew his attention, the white door slid open and Jessi walked through the mist with ease, "you get what you needed?"

She nodded, "Massive Dynamic has some very nice toys," he laughed.

They were a sad pair, "you asked for me," he didn't want to end their dialogue, not when she was being pleasant, but she had sent for him.

Her smile faded, her fingers played with a loose strand of hair, before she buried her hands into the pockets of her lab coat.

"Right, yes, so the antidote is going into production and the FBI has some promising leads on who started all of this, and," Kyle had a bad feeling about where she was taking this.

"And," he prompted, waving his hand, if she was saying what he thought she was saying he wanted her to get it over with.

The look of irritation she sent him made him smile, but he knew it hadn't reached his eyes.

"Fine," she still hadn't said it, he smirked.

The uncertainty left her eyes and he steeled himself for it.

"You can go," the dismissal was expected, he had known from the second she had tucked her hair behind her ear that she was going to do it; didn't mean though that it didn't hurt like hell.

There were several ways out of this, loud or quiet, black or white, she would have weighed all of the possible outcomes and would have prepared counter arguments for them all.

So he passed the noise and the colors and went for random, shrugging, he slipped his hands into the front pockets of his jeans what he was going to do wasn't going to be nice or pretty much less easy; he pressed his fingertips into his thighs as he spoke, "OK, I was itching to get out of here anyway," the look of surprise on her face was worth the bruises that were forming on his legs.

"I'm thinking of a cooler climate though, up north maybe, get in some snow time," he shrugged again his jaw clenching as she nodded along with his words. It wasn't enough though, if he wanted to make a point he had to commit.

"Who knows, maybe I'll crash with Peter, offer my skills to the FBI," he waggled his eyebrows, "I'm sure Olivia wouldn't mind giving me a hand."

There was just enough suggestion, in the way he rolled the syllables off his tongue that she paled, she was buying it, and every word, every idea, but she was still not there yet.

"I could use some fun, and Peter knows fun," he didn't do fun, not the way Jessi was clearly thinking he did. The wheels were turning in her head, unexpectedly a spark jumped from her shoulder to his chest.

Well that was not a very good sign of her control, he smirked, and she was upset, reacting badly to his words. Now if he could just get her to admit why, than he might be making progress.

"I should go catch Peter before he leaves," Kyle turned on his heel and headed out for the door, he had barely crossed the threshold before he heard her strangled curse and felt the push of power to his back.

Stumbling out the door, his smirk held, hidden from her view though, she was calling his name, but he kept moving until they were both in the deserted hallway.

"Kyle," she was so irritated with him, so mad, he wondered if she had any idea why.

Turning, spinning quickly on one foot, he caught her off guard, her jaw dropped on its own accord and he smirked, "Jessi," he drawled.

Her teeth closed with an audible smack and he winced, "Was there something more you had to add Jessi."

She looked like she wanted to add his head to the pike she carried in her back pocket and he couldn't help but think she looked beautiful in her anger.

"You can't go north, not with Peter," Jessi was dead serious; Kyle did his best not to laugh.

Shrugging, he stepped away from her, an air of indifference in his steps, "sure I can. If you're done with me I'm free to spend some down time with a friend."

"Down time," the words rolled oddly off her tongue.

"I had been thinking of heading back with you," he turned and looked at her, his voice firm, "but since you're dismissing me," if his bitterness was a little too real he couldn't help it, acting had never been his strong suit, "I might make a detour before I do."

Again Jessi looked at a loss, "but what about your work," she waved her hands at some invisible missing, "isn't there some place in dire need of your help."

"There is always going to be some place or someone who needs help," it was an unfortunate reality, there was a part of him that regretted admitting it, that felt the shame of the acknowledgement.

"But I need to take some time for me," for her, "I've been neglecting the important things and I want to fix that."

"And how is running off and playing with Peter going to fix anything," she wasn't amused.

"It might not fix anything Jessi," his feet moved him closer to her, he wanted to touch her, had to fist his hands at his sides rather than give in, because she wasn't ready even as entranced by his movements and clearly caught up in how close he was; that much was clear.

"But it will be fun," she blinked at him, registering and fitting the words back into their conversation.

"Fun," her eyes narrowed, he blinked back at her, "fun, Kyle," her anger was bubbling out the lights above them were flickering, "fun."

"Jessi," Kyle raised his hands, he could feel the power emanating from her, and felt the familiar signs of overload. Maybe he should have thought a little bit more about how provoking her might have provoked this response.

The lights were flickering overhead, the surge was building, briefly he wondered what the poor people watching them over the security feed were thinking, what fail safes could possibly be in place if she were to lose control.

He had to help her keep focus, "Jessi," he reached for her hands, missing; he caught her wrists, pulling her close. There was a brief struggle but he was taller and ultimately stronger, and while he didn't like to use it, he knew he had too. Jessi hadn't struggled with the loss of control like he had, didn't know what it was like to have it all rushing away from you without control.

Pressing against her, he pushed her gently against the white wall, "you need to keep it together," he murmured into her hair, pressing harder against her when a jolt of energy wracked her frame.

"I wanted to be with you Jessi, just us, driving back to Seattle," another wave passed into him, he grit his teeth as the he struggled to absorb her overflow, "I've never taken the time to explore the US. There are so many places I've never been."

"I wanted to just drive and stop at every tourist trap we came across," he pressed a kiss to her temple at her low moan of pain. He knew how much it took out of you, to fight, to control. Whatever she had done for him at the house he hadn't learned yet, cursed his own inability to help her as she had helped him.

So he would distract her, "I would have made you buy useless trinkets, a ton of them, the cheesier the better, and we would have taken tons of pictures. And I would have uploaded them to one of those picture frames and left it in your super secret cave of wonders where you could look over at it and smile."

And finally a ripple of laughter, faint and strained, but there was still so much power between them, "Jessi, Jessi look at me," her eyes, shiny with tears, "we've got to get a handle on this," he had an idea.

"Remember the puzzle," it wasn't as amazing as what she had done for him, but it was something.

She nodded, "OK, we're going to make one, a big one, the biggest one ever," he was already starting, already filtering in the levels and the layers. He felt the brush of her thoughts against his mind and let her in, bit by bit and step by step they built it.

A massive, complex series of algorithms and designs, it was like nothing he had ever seen before. Between them the air was crackling, he squinted and saw that there was a glow around them, bright white light filling the wall where they were standing.

He could make out the concerned calls of Peter and Olivia, heard the calm and curious voice of Nina suggesting they evacuate, immediately. It was smart; he had no idea what was going to happen once the puzzle had wrapped itself up in Jessi's entire overflow.

Whatever would happen, it was coming quick, wrapping his arms tightly around her, Jessi pressed her face into his neck, "here we go."

Having built itself to unimaginable complexity the puzzle ball stretched their limits of their combined minds, the pain was intense, incredibly so and he bit back a scream of pain.

One more inch, one more breath and the puzzle shattered, exploding between them, around them; life and energy ripping through him.

Fighting the nausea, biting back the pain, Kyle opened his eyes to a bright white nothing.


	10. Chapter 10

The machines beeped in tandem, two sets of heartbeats, coming together as one. A nurse took a reading off of a machine and turned towards another, Olivia watched her absently as she made her notations on the charts and slipped quietly from the room.

"Any changes," Peter asked as he came into the room. Looking towards him she shook her head no.

"Nothing yet. The doctor was in here a few minutes ago, said that their brain function was fine, but-"and there it was, the 'but' that had puzzled most of the staff of Massive Dynamic since the episode in the hallway. Physically nothing was wrong with Jessi or Kyle, as close as the doctors could tell they were asleep. A really deep, really intense sleep that Walter had suggested was linked between them.

There had been more scientific guesses and typical Walter Bishop wild hypothesis, but she had only focused on whether or not her friend was OK and when she would wake up. They had sequestered Walter away in a lab with some Twizzlers and a whiteboard. No one had been particularly clear on what he was considering, at least anyone not Peter, but his methods usually worked and they were what she was counting on to help Jessi.

Olivia felt Peter standing close behind her, every day it seemed she was getting more in tune with where and what he was doing; whether she wanted to be or not. That was an issue for another day; she pushed the thoughts firmly to the back of her mind.

"There're going to wake up. Walter is fairly certain that whatever dream state they are in they're together. So that's something." He squeezed her shoulder. She would like to think that they weren't alone and there wasn't a hint of doubt in his voice and she took comfort in that. "Hey did I ever tell you about that unfortunate time in Peru with me and Kyle and an obscene amount of mud?" Olivia chuckled.

"No, you most certainly did not." She was still smiling as he took the seat next to her; settling back into the chair there were worse ways she could think of to pass the time waiting than with Peter and one of his incredible tall tales.

The music was everywhere.

_Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band  
Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man  
Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand  
And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand_

Kyle turned in a circle, but the view was the same in every direction; blank white canvas stretching on endlessly and not a soul in sight. There was nothing with him except for the music.

_Jesus freaks out in the street  
Handing tickets out for God  
Turning back she just laughs  
The boulevard is not that bad_

Rhythm picking up with the added bass line, he can hear each note thrum in his chest and down through his toes. Some years back he had taken to playing the guitar, he had avoided the piano, but the music he coaxed from the strings had soothed him.

_Piano man he makes his stand  
In the auditorium  
Looking on she sings the songs  
The words she knows, the tune she hums _

Singing had been something he had never taken too, he was certain he had perfect pitch or could get it but he had never tried. Jessi he had pushed once to sing for him, it had been late, they had been sitting face to face in the tub and later she would blame the fatigue for giving into his requests. Her voice had been as husky and perfect as he had imagined it would be. She had a tone made for a verse and chorus.

But oh how it feels so real  
Lying here with no one near  
Only you and you can hear me  
When I say softly, slowly

How could he have forgotten that night? Forgotten how her voice had filled the room and his heart much like the music was filling him now. And then it came back to him what exactly it was that she had sung to him.

_Hold me closer tiny dancer  
Count the headlights on the highway  
Lay me down in sheets of linen  
you had a busy day today_

This was the song she had sung to him.

_Hold me closer tiny dancer  
Count the headlights on the highway  
Lay me down in sheets of linen  
you had a busy day today_

That next afternoon he had downloaded the song onto his iPod and had listened to it over and over. For the rest of that week he had hummed it constantly irritating Jessi and prompting more than one trip down memory lane for Stephen or Nicole.

_Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band  
Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man  
Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand  
And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand_

Closing his eyes he let the words wash over him, his favorites, and incredibly the music swelled even louder.

_But oh how it feels so real  
Lying here with no one near  
Only you and you can hear me  
When I say softly, slowly _

So many lost opportunities had already passed between them and this song, this memory only highlighted that. No more; she could push and shove and ruin as many hallways as she wanted but he wasn't going anywhere._  
_

_Hold me closer tiny dancer  
Count the headlights on the highway  
Lay me down in sheets of linen  
you had a busy day today_

Kyle would find Jessi and he would hold her close and they would dance.

"Jessi!" he shouted, the music stopped, silence stretched into the noise that had filled him. The change was startling.

"I remember that song, I remember how you sang it to me," the noise came from behind him. He spun around but there was nothing there, just the endless white.

"You had a beautiful voice, low and sexy," it was there again, a rustling, he twisted to his left but there was nothing. Something was there though he could feel it, brought on by his words.

Whatever it was it couldn't stay away from him forever, "I want you to sing for me again." He grinned. "I learned how to play the guitar. Bought an old six string in outside Sydney and played it till my fingers bled. Lori would be proud."

The presence was back, stronger this time, and clear enough that he could tell it was Jessi. Well all of it was Jessi, the space, the song, their combined powers had brought them here, but since it had been her energy that had overloaded it was her home they were visiting. He didn't know how or why he knew that, the explanation just felt right.

"Don't hide from me Jessi," he whispered. Immediately the presence fled. He winced, wishing that it didn't hurt that she ran from him. Now wasn't the time for that, he had to get her back so they could get back together, he didn't know how long they had been gone or how much longer they could stand to be here until they couldn't get home.

The build-up came slower this time, there were words, singing, but he couldn't make them out.

_For six long years I've been in trouble  
No pleasures here on earth I found  
For in this world I'm bound to ramble  
I have no friends to help me now._

_He has no friends to help him now_

The wandering had hurt those he loved as much as it had helped the strangers in his life. He has friends, family, but he had turned his back on them for so long.

_It's fare thee well my old true lover  
I never expect to see you again  
For I'm bound to ride that northern railroad  
Perhaps I'll die upon this train._

Of course she would doubt him, he hadn't given her many good reasons to trust in him.

_Perhaps he'll die upon this train._

You can bury me in some deep valley  
For many years where I may lay  
Then you may learn to love another  
While I am sleeping in my grave.

No more he absolutely will not share her or give up to anyone else; and there was no one else for him, not now not ever.

_While he is sleeping in his grave. _

"ENOUGH" the music stopped abruptly, the song ripping away as his anger and fear swelled. "This is not good-bye or the end or see you later or let me avoid you for another seven years, it's none of those things because I love you and I am going to fight for you."

Breaths he wasn't even sure he needed to take panted out of him; this was not how he had planned on telling her.

"Don't say that," her voice startled him. Behind him she stood stiff, arms crossed, there were tears in her eyes. There was no going back now, not that he wanted too.

"I want to say that," he smirked. Her eyes cut him through the tears so maybe now was not the best time for any of this. In the heat of the moment is never the best time to reveal something so important and lest she think it is just that, he opened up his heart and his mind and let her in. This time his music filled the air.

_I know I stand in line  
Until you think you have the time  
To spend an evening with me  
And if we go someplace to dance  
I know that there's a chance  
You won't be leaving with me_

He reached for her hands, curled into fists against her elbows.

_Then afterwards we drop into a quiet little place  
And have a drink or two  
And then I go and spoil it all  
By saying something stupid  
Like I love you_

"I'm an idiot, bad timing, but I meant every word." She rolled her eyes but didn't step away. He took that as being a good sign.

_I can see it in your eyes  
That you despise the same old lines  
You heard the night before  
And though it's just a line to you  
For me it's true  
And never seemed so right before  
_

Everything was there in her eyes, the pain, the hope, the doubt, "No more secrets between us; ever."

_I practice every day to find some clever  
lines to say  
To make the meaning come through  
But then I think I'll wait until the evening  
gets late  
And I'm alone with you_

"I want to make things right between us."

_The time is right  
Your perfume fills my head  
The stars get red  
And oh the night's so blue  
And then I go and spoil it all  
By saying something stupid  
Like I love you  
I love you..._

"I'll say it again and again because it is true, even if it's the wrong time every time." The need to hold her close was too strong to resist, so he did, moving close as the music hit the crescendo.

_The time is right  
Your perfume fills my head  
The stars get red  
And oh the night's so blue  
And then I go and spoil it all  
By saying something stupid  
Like I love you  
I love you...  
_  
"Kyle," she looked up at him. By now she was wrapped completely in his arms, he was supporting her weight against his chest and he didn't mind one bit. She was so very strong but in this instant she needed him and he could admit that it felt damn good.

"You can't love me," not that he shouldn't or wouldn't or that she didn't; but can't. He could work with can't.

"I absolutely can and do and will," he pressed a kiss to her forehead. Whatever they were caught up in he felt her skin under his lips, the sensations were as real to him as the feel of her body pressed against him in the Massive Dynamics corridor.

"As much as I am very much enjoying myself," she blushed prettily and _did not_ pull away from him, "We should try and figure out where we are."

He would have pushed her before, the Kyle that he was would not have let her sidestep such a huge issue. The man that he was now could let the issue go though and be relatively confident he could pick things up later.

Not willing to let her go though, he pressed another kiss to her temple and considered their predicament.

"Your power overload brought us here, I think it's a sort of safe haven you created."

Jessi tensed in his arms, "I did this."

He tightened his hold. "Not on purpose, but yes I think you brought us here, I think whatever happened was a sort of fail safe."

There was a slight tremor running through her frame that he did not like. "You saved us."

She snorted, "I caused the problem."

"I shouldn't have pushed your buttons so it's as much my fault as it is yours."

"Well that much I can agree on," she chuckled against his chest. The sound and feel of her laughter was delicious and their environment changed as their moods lifted. No longer white, the landscape darkened, changing into a rosy hue the color of a sunset.

"Look," he whispered. She turned in his arms, her hands resting over his that settled over her waist.

"It's beautiful."

He agreed, "It's you." She had nothing to say to that.

"Do you feel that," she asked, every muscle in her body had tightened as awareness kicked in.

Tuning into what she had found he stretched his thoughts and feelings into the environment. There, yes, he felt the 'thinning' was the best he found to describe it.

"Whatever it is its ending," she surmised.

Kyle held on tighter, he too felt that they were being pulled back. "The immediate danger must be over." He didn't know if it was danger on the outside that had to be averted or the reconciliation they had made over here; whatever it was they were leaving.

"I meant what I said Jessi, every word," he wouldn't have her denying what had happened between them when they were back, "I love you."

Walter checked the monitors once more, half-eated licorice hung out of his breat pocket. He adjusted one set of meds and then the other. No sooner had the IV drip increase did the heart rate monitors speed up in tandem. They hadn't opened their eyes yet but it was the sign they were looking for. He went over to where his son and his wonderful partner had fallen asleep in side by side chairs and shook their shoulders none too gently.

"Look Peter, look! It worked, they're awake."

* * *

'Tiny Dancer' Elton John  
'I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow' Norman Blake  
'Something Stupid' Frank Sinatra & Nancy Sinatra


End file.
